Last Night at Bungie — Aug 18, 2017

Welcome to Last Night at Bungie, a recurring series from Redjack editor ACbullman, suspiciously released shortly after This Week at Bungie, that reads between the lines to give you the real inside scoop of what’s happening. Or he just makes stuff up.

Okay, so there’s not really much to talk about. This week’s TWAB was pretty devoid of meaningful information, but there are some things to talk about. Bungie has some stops coming up in their D2 promotion: Gamescom in Germany and PAX West back at their home base in Seattle. Then it’s launch time.

Gamescom technically isn’t for another five days or so, and PAX West is after that. I’m sure the Bungie reps will have to catch a connecting flight on the way around the globe (or to the other half of the flat earth if you’re a flat-earther, or however the hell that works), so I would like to personally invite them to an exciting new gaming convention that just launched in Detroit:

Event: 2017 ACbullman Is Going Insane with Destiny Withdrawal Convention

Date: As soon as humanly possible

Location: ACbullman’s house

Entry Requirements: Must be Bungie employee and have spare copy of D2 you are willing to part with in exchange for a copy of Destiny Legal News. However, no warlocks rule will be strictly enforced. I still have standards.

To be honest, I’m kind of not expecting anyone to show.

Technology!

On August 23, Bungie will launch its re-vamped Companion app in preparation of D2. Apparently there will be more features for forums and clan management. Wonderful.

The real guardians, however, probably don’t care a great deal. There’s an expansive library of third party applications out there to support you guardian, and the biggest necessity out there is gear management. DIM is love. DIM is life. Unless you’re on your phone, then Isthar Commander is love/life. Destiny Item Manager (DIM) and Ishtar Commander are two of the most popular assets used by the Destiny Community for keeping their guardians in good order. So what’s going on with them? Are they just packing up their bags and leaving? Of course not, but there will be a transition period.

Here’s DIM on the D2 adjustments. They expect to be up about a week after D2’s launch:

Here’s Ishtar Commander on the D2 adjustments. He expects to be up shortly after DIM:

These fellow Destiny addicts are going to be spending a lot of time immediately post-launch not playing the game and instead working to get their third party apps up and running for everyone. So if you have a complaint about DIM and Ishtar Commander not working on September 7th, I encourage you to write your complaints down on a piece of paper, fold it up, put it in an envelope (don’t forget return address and postage), and stick it up your ass. They will be ready whey they’re ready. In the meantime, you will have the Companion app to hold you over.

Finally an Xbox Exclusive

The D2 digital pre-load is upon us. This is an exciting time where we can download the game, stare at the download bar, and then proceed to not play the game. PS4 players can pre-load the game on August 31, and Xbox players can pre-load the game EARLY NEXT WEEK???????

As an Xbox player, my initial reaction was a desperate attempt to glean some sort of victory out of this, as if I had actually been thrown a bone for once. Two seconds later, I realized that this meant I would be tortured with a loaded but literally unplayable (in the most “literally unplayable” sense) game for an extra 10 days or so.

I’m sure it has everything to do with the consoles’ online marketplaces or something of that nature, but when you’re a Destiny Xbox player, you tend to look for a kick in the balls just to say you got kicked in the balls. I don’t think this one really counts. But it’s drenched in irony.

Conspiracy Theories

This obviously wasn’t discussed in TWAB, but it should be mentioned. There was a reddit post yesterday that disappeared almost as soon as it was posted, claiming there will be two additional missions added to D1 to lead into D2, a few new cut-scenes, and a live action trailer.

It’s that time of the year again for all sorts of “leaks” that are really just people making stuff up. I can’t say it’s NOT true, because you can’t prove a negative. All you’re left to do is sit around, wait, and wonder if Bungie would actually insert new story missions that make no sense given the Homecoming mission we played in D2. Or that they would call a mission “Immanent Invasion,” even though that is the wrong word (“imminent” would be the word). Or that they would release a Sparrow which “will not explode until initial Sparrows intent,” which I’m not so sure constitutes a coherent thought. Or that they would drop a live action trailer days before the game’s release when it should have got off the hype train months ago.

It’s possible Bungie could slip something into the game to somehow present a transition into D2. It’s possible that they could do all that stuff above. It’s possible the game could turn your console into a horse that shits gold. You can’t disprove any of these. What you can do is firmly deposit these “leaks” out of sight and out of mind. Although I admit I’m curious about the horse shitting gold one.

Redjack Media of the Week

This week’s honors go to /u/KOxSOMEONE, who captured some excellent footage of a top-rated Cabal PUBG player who is an expert at running down opponents with vehicles. Or he was hammered.

Well done KO. This is for you:

Hopefully we’ll have more to go on next week. I know I’ll have my hands full once September comes around. My fantasy football team is going to suck this year.

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ACbullman

Editor-in-Chief of The Redjack. Occasional lawyer. Author of Destiny Legal News.