October 6 — Some nights

Some nights I stay up looking at spiders illuminated in the glare of an iPhone light.

Some nights I put up Christmas lights so she can read the bible under the stars.

Some nights I end up on one side of the hammock talking for hours while she sits in the grass watching the clouds cover the stars.

Some nights I let the conversation drag on because I’m not sure if it’s flirting; whatever it is it feels nice and it is good.

Some nights I remind myself why I write, and why I think the universe isn’t pointless.

But most nights, I still don’t know.

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