I had one piece of bread left: the end piece. The Marshman’s were offering to have me over for dinner before I left Seattle, so I decided I wasn’t hungry enough for more bread. Hmmm, I thought, maybe I’ll take it over to the reservoir and see if I can…

In our last session my counselor today asked me about monuments. If I could created a monument to my story and life here in Seattle, what would it be? It takes less than a minute for the answer to appear to me, and I choke up as I begin to…

The cliffhangers in Breaking Bad are so routinely intense I can never remember where we left off until we begin watching the next episode together. So it is today. I relax and prepare for the drama. Despite the stress of the show my heart is full of gratitude, ready to…

The clouds grew thicker and closer the further I drove up to Hurricane Ridge. With every twist and bend of the road I could feel the air getting thinner and the world becoming more sacred and wild. At last the road brought me up to the visitor’s center, which looked…

I took a spur trail on my way back from the brief hike up to Marymere Falls. It followed Barnes Creek along a winding ravine. I had gone at least two miles, I judged, and had not seen a soul. …

I looked up my ex-wife on Venmo to make sure I had the right account so Jon could pay her back for our half of the motorcycle we had bought together. Once I found her, I of course had to stalk her transaction history. That was a mistake. Most of…

Together with Kyle and Brian I jumped right into my emotional depths, as we so often did together. I was in a place of deep liminality, Kyle named, and I could feel it. “I’ve been getting off of work and not feeling like doing anything,” I said, “other than ordering…

The day slowed down towards the evening, as it usually does. With 15 minutes to close, I took one last walk around the yard. I breathed in and tried to remember the smell of green cedar, of spruce 2x4s, of pressure treated beams. …

“I get home from work and all I want to do is order a pizza and watch Netflix,” I complained to my therapist. “I don’t feel much life or motivation to do anything right now. I don’t have that fire.” “Yeah, you want rest,” Matthew said. His words felt instinctive and matter-of-fact. No deep psychoanalysis necessary. But they were also kind even as they expressed the obvious. They gave me more permission to have compassion towards myself.