10 Things That Took Less Time than the Release of the TPP Text

Waiting is a part of life. And let’s face it, it sucks. But we’re adults and we get that we have to be patient every now and then. But when it comes to getting vital information that will affect just about every person on the planet, being secretive and asking people to wait is just plain wrong.

After years of negotiations, the 12 countries working on a massive trade deal called the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) came to an agreement on Oct. 5. And working people in the United States and all over the world have a lot of questions (NAFTA legacy anyone?): How will this affect people’s wages, rights on the job and the environment?, just to throw out a few concerns. The thing is, the text of the deal still isn’t public. We’ve heard from the Obama administration just how “progressive” the TPP is, and we’re waiting anxiously to see just how “cool” this trade deal is.

But it’s been 29 days and counting since the TPP agreement was announced, and we still haven’t seen the text.

Here are 10 things that took less time than the release of the TPP text:

1. Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Speediness.

The founding of the United States and the formal splintering off from England centered around the Declaration of Independence, which was written in 18 days and took only six days to consider and adopt. See, you can draft and drop some pretty heavy text in a matter of weeks. Easy peasy.

2. Sometimes She Runs: Britney Spears’ 55-Hour Vegas Marriage.

Fifty-five hours was all it took for Brit Brit to annul her Las Vegas nuptials to her childhood friend Jason Allen Alexander. If the lifespan of a loving union of two people can begin and end that fast, surely releasing some text should be a breeze.

3. Yeezus Production: I’mma let you finish (in 15 days).

Critically acclaimed legendary album “Yeezus” by Kanye West was finalized with super producer Rick Rubin in 15 days. Two days before the album had to be delivered to the label, West wrote and sang lyrics to two songs while also recording the vocals to three others in just two hours. Maybe West and Rubin could team up with the TPP negotiators, set the text to music and produce “TPP: The Album” to move the process along a little faster.

4. Apollo 13 Mission: Houston, we have a problem.

The launch and return of Apollo 13, the United States’ seventh manned mission in the Apollo space program, happened in only 5 days, 22 hours and 54 minutes.

5. On the Road

Beat author Jack Kerouac spent seven years traveling across the United States and taking notes on his exploits, but On The Road was penned in only three weeks. The entire draft was typed on one 120-foot-long piece of paper he taped together.

6. Tortoise and the Hare: Slow and Steady Wins the Race.

In 1954 Elizabeth Jenkins wrote The Tortoise and the Hare in less than three weeks after an affair with a man who wouldn’t leave his wife.

7. Paranormal Activity.

The incredibly scary movie that kicked off an entire franchise that will make you terrified to ever sleep again, “Paranormal Activity,” was shot in only 10 days.

8. F/A 18 Fighter Jet Production: The Need for Speed

F/A 18 fighter jets are built in less than nine days (at a rate of 42 per year).

9. Model T Production in 1913.

Henry Ford installed the first moving assembly line for the mass production of an entire automobile in 1913. The time it took to build a car with this new innovation was only two hours and 30 minutes.

10. The AIG Bank Bailout: Too Big to Fail.

It took a mere five days for the government to bail out AIG to the tune of $85 billion. No surprise here, the 1% get what they want, and they want it NOW.

Sooo TPP negotiators…

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