Do you regret anything?
We all make mistakes (decisions we wish we could change). Some are small and can be forgotten over lunch. Others take longer but overall I believe that time heals the regret of these mistakes. However, sometimes regret over decisions can go on for months or even years. It can be the first thing you think of when you wake up , continually creeping up on you and ruining your mood. Thoughts of “why couldnt i be the person who didn’t have to make the mistake to learn that lesson”. You can think that it has caused you to take steps back and you will miss opportunities due to it.
Firstly , decisions are binary. There are only 2 options , you choose to do it or not to do it. Whichever you choose you cannot change. No benefit dwelling on a decision you cannot change now.
But! You can make better decisions in the future. Any mistakes you make , can equal progression. You can become a more rounded human , with new life experiences to revisit for future decisions. I see it as levelling up , like a video game , every mistake gives you a chance to jump up to the next level. On this new level , you can reflect on your previous self and you can see how you are now a better person in a better position to reach your full potential. As humans we all have a full potential , imagine at birth an arrow is fired travelling at the velocity of your full potential. My goal is to get as close to my full potential and that arrow as possible. Making mistakes is only going to get me closer to this as I learn , adapt and don’t make these mistakes further down the line , where they will have deeper consequences.
Of course if you’re making the same mistakes over and over this will hinder you reaching your full potential. But if you learn from these life experiences and choose a better outcome when you are next faced with similar circumstances , this is certainly progressive. Don’t get stuck on the same level!
You deserve to move on and you needed that life experience to progress.
Constant levelling up is what we want. You can then sit on the new level and be proud that you are no longer the person who will make that mistake again.
One last topic is people’s sensitivity to mistakes.
Everyone has different sensitivity to mistakes. If you think about a baby touching fire/stove to learn it’s hot. Some people can look at others’ bad decisions and not make the same ones. Some people dip their toe in and learn it’s not for them and move on. Some people it seems innate. Others have to do it three times before learning and some people have to put their hands , feet and trapezius on the fire for 10 minutes straight before they learn their lesson. We are all programmed differently to learn. I do believe we can change the way we learn , and also for gambling we may learn from others’ mistakes , but relationships we have to learn by jumping in the deep end. I think it’s good to learn in a variety of ways. Eg if you only learnt from others mistakes you may not have many interesting stories of your own to tell.
My ball , my rules. Ps i was proud of my bow drawing.
AFS
