How NOT to RSVP to Someone else’s Wedding
7 Ways you’ve already pissed the Bride off
- You created your own “+1"
The two keywords in the title of the article are “someone else’s”. Which means it’s not your wedding. So if the invite is only addressed to you, you shouldn’t be emailing the bride or groom that you’re bringing someone else. Especially without asking. It’s quite possibly the rudest thing you can do. It costs money to feed and seat everyone and weddings have budgets. So you telling the bride and groom you’re bringing someone else is like saying, “I could give a shit about your budget”.
2. You texted your RSVP, when there was an email address on the invite
It’s very important to follow the RSVP instructions as they are listed in the invite. You should only RSVP via text message if the invitation says that specifically. At which point, you should send the text to the exact phone number on the invitation. Otherwise, if there is an email address you shouldn’t be texting anyone. The RSVP should be sent via email. Using the proper form of communication is easiest for the bride/groom and or wedding planner. It allows them to have all RSVPs in one location. Rather than having the bride and groom asking one another, “did so and so RSVP”? Or having someone forget that you did, because the bride and groom have a ton of other things to be concerned with. Such as planning the wedding! As there is also a chance the bride and groom could be planning the wedding without a planner. Which heeds more work for them.
3. You knew your were coming to the Wedding, but sat on your RSVP
RSVP deadlines are not only to give guests time to make arrangements, they are given to give the bride and groom an accurate final headcount. Having said that, if your travel is all set, go ahead and RSVP to the darn wedding! The bride specifically, is continuously looking at the RSVPs and if you have not RSVP’d she’ll assume she still needs to wait for your RSVP. It’s unnecessary to wait for the very last day of the deadline to RSVP. No one cares about your “element of surprise” behavior. You are not the bride!
4. You contacted the bride and basically asked her to read the invitation to you
Once you’ve received your invite, it’s important to read it, in it’s entirety. You should not be contacting the bride or groom asking them questions that are already listed on the invite. Unless something is really not clear. Meaning asking the address of the wedding when you have the invitation shows pure laziness on your part. Wedding invitations have a very small character limit. So it’s not like you have been sent a novel to review. Take the time to read the invite before contacting the bride or groom. Also asking the same questions over and over again, is probably the most annoying thing you can do. So once your questions have been answered once, take time to remember the answers!
5. You’ve continuously texted the bride or groom about your finances
Here’s where things get uncomfortable… you’ve been invited to the wedding because the bride or groom most likely holds you near and dear to them. Having said that, they understand that not everyone will be able to make the wedding. While they appreciate your efforts, as a bride and groom they are dealing with their own budget and finances and they don’t really have time to “continuously” listen to your story. If you deem it necessary, explaining your finances once is enough. You are either coming to the wedding or you are not. It’s really that simple. Sending 7–10 page text messages is overkill and while you may think it appears that you are trying, eventually it can start to appear as if you are making an excuse not to be able to come. Especially if you’ve been sending 7–10 page text messages since you received the invitation four months ago.
6. You acted as if the bride and groom are travel agents
It is common to ask the bride or groom about the area of the wedding. However, it’s nicer to do your own research as well. If you’ve traveled to exotic places and did your own research, don’t half step for your family member or friend’s wedding. Same as your trips to London, Jamaica, the Bahamas, Hawaii, and Costa Rica, if you have the address of the wedding, “Google” can become your guide! Which means, after the bride or groom has sent you the nearest hotels and airports, you really shouldn’t be contacting them about anything else pertaining to your travel. You’re either going to book it or you are not.
7. You joked about “upstaging” the bride
They say there is truth behind every joke. So even if you’ve laughed after the joke, the bride is now going to feel she needs to watch your behavior at her wedding. She’s also possibly reconsidering her invite to you. If this is not your wedding, this is certainly not a joke you should be making. There is nothing more classless than coming to someone else’s event thinking it’s your time to shine.
As a witness to the union of the bride and groom, your presence is deeply appreciated. However, so is your cooperation during the RSVP process. If you’ve done any of the above, it’s never too late to apologize. If you haven’t, please know that the bride and groom have conversations about how they wish every guest could be like you!
Now go RSVP! The RIGHT WAY!