You Just Don’t Know What Feminism Means

A post for an answer I repeatedly have to give

Leslie Loftis
Tales from An American Housewife
2 min readDec 6, 2016

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This is an over the eyeglasses shot I sent to my son one afternoon when he was vexing me with pre-teen nonsense. Fit the mood for this story.

Almost every time I, or anyone else for that matter, points out weaknesses in feminist positions, someone replies with some version of “you just don’t know what feminism means.” That is, they assume I disagree with them because they are well informed while I am ignorant.

Actually, I’ve researched historical feminism, Second Wave feminism of the 60’s, the debatable Third Wave and the growing New Wave. I’ve written on modern developments from fertility to misandry to free bleeding, which, contrary to blustering defenses, is really a thing. I have original copies of “Red Stockings,” and “The Feminine Mystique” — I’ve actually read it.

I am quite familiar with the variety of definitions of feminism, how they conflict, and generally who promotes which one. “Just” definitions of feminism announce a pop feminist, someone who sees the term as they prefer it and not as it does in real life. Furthermore, the overriding concern for the term, puts discussion, knowingly or not, out of reach. Like the intersectionalists, pop feminists might cry “My feminism will be happy “just” feminism or it will be bu!!sh*t!”

Trouble is, we cannot have a productive discussion about community breakdown, family, or women’s success without addressing feminism’s negative effects over the past 50 years. I know that isn’t a pleasant thought. It isn’t affirming, and women want affirming. But it is the truth.

We can avoid being rude about this truth, but if we continue to avoid confronting it, then young women will continue to crash into realities we, their elders, never prepared them for.

So no, I do not fall for the “feminism is just about equality” nonsense. We might want it to be about equality, but it will not until those who claim it expend more effort calling out the misandrists, the traitors, the pitiable, and the precious rather than scoffing at women who live out the equality that pop feminists claim to desire.

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Leslie Loftis
Tales from An American Housewife

Teacher of life admin and curator of commentary. Occasional writer.