Take me seriously!

We live in a society that is so damaged, nearly everyone I know I’d unemployed or underemployed and it isn’t because they don’t have skills. There is something of a ridiculous process when it comes to finding work. So many very qualified people can’t find work in the current economy, and those are just the people without any limitations. Imagine the struggle of a mother/father with u child/children that aren’t school age yet, imagine those people struggling to get their very first job, or a job in a career field they have never done.

Job applications want references that have to be professional, and if you have never worked you get to start with a lie by putting down friends you know will vouch for you or relatives with a different last name.

They want experience…one…two…five years doing something before they let you in the door. It’s tough, so where do most people start? Fast food chains, or if you lucky retail or restaurant work.

I’m employed…underemployed, at my job they are over staffed so dramatically that people argue with each other and management over schedules. I get so few hours each week I nearly have a breakdown when I get that schedule, it says two days…short shifts. Maybe $65 after taxes if I’m lucky while the teenagers I work with get 25 hours a week…I get 8. 8 hours,I’m in my 20s, I’m a student, I’m a parent…I’m disabled, and I work, and push myself and my physical limits at a job. In an effort to show my supervisors I can handle myself and I can handle more. They agree that I work hard, they agree to give me more time…but they don’t, and they won’t. Because to them I appear fragile, they don’t want to over work me. I seem tired.

I’ve been looking for other words filling out every application in every field I think I’m suited for, but the calls never come. I strive to prove myself to others, and to myself. I can stand for 6 I can stand for 8 or 10. Don’t tell me I can’t until you’ve let me try. If I try and fail it will only make me want to succeed more. I am not fragile, I am not stupid, and I am not weak. I’m not weak until the moment I realize…I don’t have enough money for food. I’m don’t have enough money for rent. So I barrow, rely on family who lecture me about how I’m the parent now and I need to take care of my family. I nod and say it won’t happen again. Not again, I can do better. I want so much to do better.

I don’t want to be eaten alive inside when I open my mail to nothing but bills and have to chose what to pay because I can only pay one. I don’t want to feel the twist in my gut every time I get a paycheck because I know it’s not enough.

A million people have these problems. I know I am no different, my family struggled when I was young, so I’ve always known what it feels like to have to go without. I just never thought when I grew older I’d have to struggle so much harder than the average person to get that job, to earn that money, to keep the lights on and food in my child’s belly. I can do it, I can do any job for any amount of time. I don’t care how much u hurt. I will do it. I might have tears in my eyes but I’m determined. All I want is the opportunity, all I need is for someone to take me seriously.

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