You Can Sacrifice, or You Can Suffer
There is a misconception that positive change will make great demands of you. The change in habits and actions and beliefs and prioritization of time all lead to an endless litany of excuses as to WHY such things cannot happen.
But there is a missed step in this process.
Change doesn’t start with making additions to your way of living,
it starts with CUTTING away at it. With sacrificing, with subtraction.
It starts with what you need to STOP, to say it another way.
This sacrificing is what people avoid. We can make all the excuses in the world as to why we positively don’t have the time to do XYZ,
but we cannot create sound excuses for why cannot give up the worst parts of ourselves. The self-limiting beliefs, the child hood traumas, the narrative of us being a victim, the fake responsibilities that take up all our time,
hell, even the food we overconsume because we need to feed our emotional dragon we’ve been running away from for 20 years, we CANNOT give up that food. What will our insecure and emotionally deprived and feeling sorry for itself dragon eat? Vegetables?
God No, we cannot sacrifice anything. So we make excuses about the process of addition, and ignore that subtraction is the only way to make space for any kind of growth.
This is the reality check: If you want to change for the better, you NEED to make sacrifices. And what you need to sacrifice is likely what you LEAST want to give up.
In fact, it’s probably what you value you most. It’s probably your sad sap identity, the one where you repeat “Im not that kind of man, woman, guy, girl and I’m not meant to be strong/fit/lean/healthy/wealthy/successful/smart/attractive/sexy/confident/secure/heroic/powerful/athletic”
Use whatever descriptive you want that suits you. You’ve built a whole hoard of beliefs and actions and habits around a weak version of yourself
You know that, and that’s why you hate being told it. And you’d be liable to fly into a rage or have a breakdown if anyone directly pointed out your belief in your inadequacies. Or that you’ve built your life around them.
So you avoid, everyone avoids it.
We defer to approaches that promise us that we will need give up nothing. All the upside, none of the pain and suffering that comes with sacrifice.
For anyone that has ever tried to diet, you are likely to familiar with dietary appeals of not having to “give up” your favorite foods. Such diets promise a have your cake and eat it too approach.
Such diets are, suffice to say, absolute bullshit. Just like all the other methods in the world that promise to make things easy and painless.
if you are unhealthy from excessive eating, you absolutely will have to “give up” much of what you eat. And not simply what you eat, but all the behaviors, habits, and beliefs that surround that eating.
People’s vices are bloody obvious when looked at clearly, so its easier not to look. You know most of what is wrong with you.
The battle is not in knowing, the battle is that you don’t want to give up what you know. You do not want to sacrifice all the things that are making you miserable and making you suffer. As shitty as you might feel, as tired as you might be, as slovenly as your health and mental health and general self care are, the prospect of sacrificing habits, actions, and identity is far more terrifying.
Oh well. That doesnt change that you need to kill those things and let go of them. Your fear doesnt change anything at all, Its just another dragon to confront.
How do we do this then? How do we give things up?
Well, there is the Act itself, but you wouldnt be asking the question if that was really the question. The question is how to prepare ourselves mentally to sacrifice.
So try this. I shared this in a podcast recently, and its simple enough to be done in the moment by anyone
1. Imagine the best that could happen if you Sacrifice and change
2. Imagine the absolute WORST that will happen if you do not sacrifice and change nothing
And don’t imagine this cursory. THINK ABOUT, write it out in fact, and be as utterly and damnably detailed as possible. Write out the worst version of your life that comes with you being a coward and sacrificing nothing. Write out the better version that comes from being brave.
What version do you want to be?
Choose, because no one else is going to do it for you.