Fuck Your Feelings & Fuck Your Comfort — Earn Your Personal Freedom By Daring To Be You
Here’s the thing about gaining personal freedom; it’s hard work. It’s uncomfortable. And a lot of people aren’t willing to do the work it takes.
You’ve got to free your mind, your body, your finances, your relationships.
You have to be honest with yourself about who you are, what you want, and why you react to things the way you do.
You have to work through the dark and horrible things in your soul.
All of that takes a lot of work.
And here’s the thing about your feelings; fuck them.
If you want to live a remarkable life, living by your own rules, you’re going to get your feelings hurt. You’re going to hurt the feelings of others. And you’re going to be involved in a lot of uncomfortable situations.
At the very least you need to understand the following;
- What other people do has nothing to do with you.
- Truth is important, but won’t make everyone your friend.
- Those who would stop you questioning, will stop you living.
- You must always be you to the maximum.
This shit is hard though.
If you don’t like difficult things, stop reading here.
I’m serious; I don’t want you deluding yourself. Most people today are fundamentally unable to dictate their own lives.
But if you are willing to be responsible for yourself, read on…
1. What other people do has nothing to do with you.
People today are reactionaries; mere bags of emotions and feelings and hormones and they are missing the ability to reason.
This is often not their fault — the scientific literature paints a stark picture: child abuse, violence, neglect; all these things prevent a human from being stable and mastering their emotions.(1)
It’s not their fault… Up until they have it pointed out. Then you’ve got to do something about it.
Once you become aware, you become responsible.
It’s like if you have never had a tennis coach and swing a certain way — the coach correcting you isn’t blaming you. They’re not saying you’re a bad person. But once you have been shown the right way, you’d be a damn fool to not practice it and instead go back to your old way.
For years I filmed every workout I did; that’s why my technique now is okay. But without that course-correction, I’d have made much less progress.
But most people can’t handle healthy criticism — they can’t handle it from others, and they certainly won’t provide it for themselves.
This is why people will squeal and squirm and shout you down if try and talk about anything serious. They like being in their comfortable little bubble where everything they do is “right”.
Maybe they will figure it out on their own one day. Maybe they won’t — either way, it’s nothing to do with you, so free yourself from the obligation of trying to “save” others.
Some people though, are incapable of understanding.
They are sociopaths, or psychopaths, or have Munchausen syndrome. Give those people a wide berth — they might not be to blame, but that doesn’t stop them being toxic.
However, if you are capable of reason but do not use it, then you are not just no better than the mob; you’re worse.
So here’s the bad (brilliant!) news for all of you reading this; your life is now your problem.
2. Truth is important, but won’t make everyone your friend.
I imagine that you’ve experienced it too; you have been called “opinionated”, or “strong willed”. Perhaps even arrogant.
People have tried to bring you down — or perhaps people have just lambasted and scorned you.
Why? Because you spoke honestly.
You have inadvertently discovered a law of human behaviour…
Speak the truth and experience hate.
That is the way it is.
That is the way it has always been.
That is the way it will continue to be.
Ever since Galileo dared to speak the truth to the Pope.
“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”
For the crime of speaking the truth, Galileo Galilei was tried and placed under house arrest — during which time he wrote some of his finest works.
He was scorned and ridiculed and had his freedoms taken away — don’t think the same won’t happen to you, if you let it.
3. Those who would stop you questioning, will stop you living.
Long before Galileo, there was Socrates.
Socrates “corrupted” the youth by asking them questions. His fate was altogether more cruel; for corrupting the youth, he was sentenced to death by drinking poison.
Questions you see, are dangerous. They might cause you to think.
They might cause you to understand that the people in charge aren’t doing things that way out of the goodness of their hearts.
“Why is that so?”, “Is that right?”, “What if you did it this way..?”
If you ask questions like that, you quickly realise that people don’t have any answers.
Not real answers. They won’t be able to point you to a reasoned, logical analysis, based on first principles or the scientific method.
People do things because that’s the way they’ve always done them. I encounter this in my day job all the time — old bureaucratic systems slow everything down and stop things working properly.
But they are familiar.
People know what they’re dealing with.
So things never change, and soon the organisation is 20 years behind the times — a lumbering, confused, complicated monster, scared of the light.
Asking questions forces them to face the unknown — and we already know that the unknown is scary.
Not asking questions is dangerous too; you run the risk of being an idiot, of being taken advantage of.
But at least you do not run the risk of earning the wrath of the mob — those with crab mentality just desperate to pull you back down.
Questions have a way of making people uncomfortable, and when you make people uncomfortable, they respond emotionally.
If you ever ask if it is right to steal money from wealthy people in order to fund welfare schemes, you will be told you hate poor people.
If you point out that the research showing a “97% consensus” among climate scientists is highly unreliable you will be called a denialist, and told that you wish for the earth to perish for the sake of your own greed and consumption!
If you treat a man accused of rape as innocent until proven guilty, you will be called all kinds of things, and probably wish you’d kept your mouth shut.
If you ever dare to think or question in a way that denies the status quo: beware!
4. You must always be you to the maximum.
The only defence is a rigorous offence; be unapologetically you.
In the words of Mike Cernovich, “Go Full Gorilla“.
If you let your personal freedom slide, the monsters of history who killed Socrates and caged Galileo will come for you too.
These people, these cowards; they are parasites.
The people that lambast and criticise amount to little more than parasites. Their bark is loud, but their bite is pathetic — they can only take hold if you let them.
They are the claws pulling you down as you climb towards the light.
They want you to be just as emotional and reactionary as they are — so they will goad you and torment you.
But while they might hate dissenting opinion in the present, but they have no problem living in a world created by people who fought the consensus.
Everything great today was at one time a minority belief — something ridiculed and shouted down. It was created by people who dared to be the tenth man:
People who stood up for what they believed when everyone around them said they were stupid, or crazy, or criminal.
People who literally died fighting so that ideas might live, which now we take for granted.
They gave everything so that you might have fucking Netflix.
And you are afraid to fight for your freedom? You are afraid to push back against draconian laws? You are afraid to live the life of your dreams? You are afraid to stand up to the bullies who shout racist! sexist! misogynist! simply because your opinion dares to differ?
Do not let them make you into a coward.
Do not be a victim, give them no apologies!
These bullies exist because the mob is cowardly.
The mob bands together — strength in numbers — and what one person might never say, a thousand can shout — perhaps until a brilliant scientist is forced out of work because a fraud didn’t like something he said.
Being offended by something is often simply a sign that you are stupid
Smart people who are in control over their own lives don’t get offended, because they are able to engage their brains long enough to actually have what is known as “a thought”.
When you have “thoughts” you are able reason, and when you are able to reason, you stop getting offended because it doesn’t make any sense.
The mob simply goes with those who shout loudest.
Bullies feed on cowardice.
Where bravery should exist, and moral courage, there is nothing.
But not for long. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so too does human nature.
Instead of moral courage we have moral panics. Instead of bravery we have bullying, the stifling of debate, the tarring and feathering of better men and women.
This will continue as long as you let it.
As long as you stay in your bubble, your comfortable little piece, you will never make anything of yourself.
You will die having achieved nothing.
Learn from history — we have a commonwealth of elders who made discoveries, and mistakes, and we would be wise to learn from both.
And you will witness the vultures feeding on the carcass of liberty, of freedom, and of virtue.
Why is this so?
Because for as long as humanity exists, there will be predators in our midst.
These are the evil people who will tell you “evil does not exist”.
These are the people who will tell you that society is more important than the individual — yet they seem to reap most of the benefits.
These are the people who will push you down in order to push themselves up. And by now, they are so good at it, that they’ve got you blaming the wrong people.
If someone tells you “this is the only way to live” — beware!
Your energies must be directed wisely — not wasted or dangerously aimed like a gun pointing the wrong way.
Universities, governments, your friends will all tell you; “it’s the greedy CEOs!” and, “it’s the bankers!” and, “it’s the 1 percent!”.
But who is it who told you that all there is to life is school, work, family, retire?
Who is it that says your plans to do something different are naive, or silly, or destined to fail?
Who gets angry when you try and make something of yourself or do something out of the ordinary?
Peer pressure isn’t just what happens to teenagers who start smoking.
It exerts itself throughout your life, subtly, and sinister, and you will never even notice it unless you take the time to look.
Perhaps the bullies are expressing their helplessness?
Perhaps the bullies are going after the weak simply because they cannot go after the powerful. They are helpless, and afraid.
They gave up on their dreams, and take their resentment out on others — in exchange they get a soiled piece of what might have been.
If they do the bidding of those in charge, they retain their standing in the world.
If they speak out of turn, they are torn down.
But unlike you, the bullies really are cowards. They will not speak out of turn.
Instead, the bullies go after an easy target — one that no-one seems too worried about; the misfit. The rebel. The weirdo.
This could be the quiet guy who works hard, keeps to himself, supports his family through a low paid job, and personally prefers a marriage where traditional gender roles still exist.
“Sexist!” — you can hear them say it even now.
Yet the guy packing your bags at the supermarket is not your oppressor. He is not the ruling class.
The ruling class is, and always has been, those with political authority, propped up by their military might.
The ruling class is the people with a monopoly on violence.
If you are a man; the problem is not women that won’t date you.
If you are a woman; the problem is not men that sit with their legs open on the bus.
If you are black; the problem is not white people saying “nigga” on Twitter.
If you are gay; the problem is not a bakery refusing to serve you.
Are you beginning to see the problem?
The problem is that you are still asking for permission.
No person and no organisation can grant you the life of your dreams.
You must stop looking outward for a solution. You cannot change society, only yourself.
Liberty must be claimed, or forever lost.
I get it, you’re scared. I’m scared too. It’s not easy to be the freak. It’s not easy to be the weirdo.
Sometimes I feel a bit ridiculous saying that I feel like an outcast; I’m a white, middle class man.
But no minority has the monopoly on feeling like an outcast. And the smallest minority of all is the individual.
If people say you are opinionated, or strange, or if they get offended by the perfectly logical things you say, then you already know what I’m talking about.
In fact, you have felt it your whole life.
You don’t fit in.
You might feel like a screw-up right now — I know I still do, on days when I feel low. But by taking ownership of yourself, good things will come.
Embrace your weirdness.
You don’t need anyone to say it, and I am certainly not qualified to do so, but if it helps, I will; you have my permission to be weird.
You have my permission to be relentlessly, flagrantly, unapologetically you.
As much as I am deadly serious, I am also completely silly. Understand all aspects of your nature in order to maximise your personal happiness and freedom.
You have my permission to stand up for the things you believe in.
Look yourself in the mirror and say it with me; “fuck your feelings, and fuck your comfort”.
But here’s the deal; this is a message that needs to be spread. There are others out there like us. There are other people who feel alone, or afraid, or like they just don’t fit in.
Let them know that it’s okay. Show kindness. If this article helped you — share it.
Be the light that shines the way by always, always being true to yourself.
Now go out and do what you were born to do.
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Originally published at libertyfrontier.com on July 9, 2015.