Just a phase.
When I was high, I felt numb to society and what people thought of me. I was in my own world, but never could see. That the place I’m trying to escape is the same place I’m trying to live in. The euphoric feelings I bought where the same ones that I fought, people think the subject that makes an addict, is them chasing a substance that causes outbreaks, but the reality is not to get high, but to experience feelings they’ve had before, without having to get by.
Since I stopped using medications that alter my state of my mind, I’ve noticed the person I am, is not so kind. I Normally could put with people’s bullshit that I deemed irrelevant. Smile my way with grace while sharing some benevolence, but when I’m not overwhelmed with chemicals of dopamine, I find out that person I am, is actually really mean. Not in the fact that I’m a rude person, but that I don’t see any beauty in life with a low level of body high. I’ve drained what is naturally there, like a jar of honey that used to have plenty, I’ve exhausted all the bees and I’m left empty. Trying to move my body without a tank of gas, I wouldn’t able to finish a race or even show up last. This a temporary feeling, that most people can’t seem to find the right healing, when I recover I won’t be dwelling on why nothing is worth doing, when I get my system clean of toxic & refill my vessel of logic, I will once again see that what I used to be was just a phase of me.