the expectation for it all to change so fast was not one nestled in the fibres of my brain
i learnt to make peace with the silence
celebrate the space you did not, could not, would not fill and i grew in the months your absence was appreciated
you did not go unnoticed in the chasm that you left because my organs asked where you went and i told them i did not know and they did not understand i did not and do not understand exactly where you went and why?
and with who?
distractions were made up of songs you will not and could not and had not tarnished
and sunday mornings reverted to cold feet left untouched by warm skin
and daytime tv became a monotonous routine as i saw you flaunt your unsuccessful winnings without as much as a glare for what could have been
11 months, a few weeks here and there, find some hours somewhere and you might briefly remember
you may pause to wonder
you may stop to gaze- just for a second- at a window where you think it started but
it was just a view and you can’t see much on grey nights