Thanks for sharing your story, and mine is much the same, though after a long stint on SSRI’s, I realized exactly the same, that i was no longer “feeling”,
Did they help at the time? absolutely, because it helped keep me from wishing I would die In my sleep every night, it stopped my mind from going 24/7.
However, it wrecked my creativity. I’m a musician who doesn’t play in bands, but the majority of the joy I get out of life comes from either learning other peoples songs, or writing my own, so I decided that I was going to give not being on them a shot, deal with the withdrawl, and see what life was like again.
After a few months, I started feeling music in the way I used to, and that creativity started coming back, so I feel like it was worth it to go through the process and get back to being me. I also don’t feel like life isn’t worth living any more. Perhaps I needed to go through that to learn something about myself.
No idea where I was going with this, just sharing my notes on life, and your writing closely mirrors my experiences.