I Lived The Abortion Debate and I’m Terrified and Outraged

Amy Sterling Casil
May 16 · 4 min read

I chose to have my baby Anthony (Lali), even though I knew he might be born with Down Syndrome — and he was.

After he died, I would have done anything to have another baby. Instead, I had five miscarriages.

One of those miscarriages was a potential ectopic pregnancy.

The Ohio abortion ban says that ectopic pregnancies can be “moved to the uterus.”

My ectopic pregnancy moved into my uterus, but it was developing with so many problems I accepted a chemical abortion. I’ve never said that publically before. I’m crying right now as I write this because I would have done anything for that baby but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t developing as a baby. It was — like the callous and cruel say — a collection of cells.

That was the last thing I wanted to do but I didn’t have a realistic choice and the end result wouldn’t have been a baby. It would have been something bad and at any point, it could have caused a rupture and killed me.

I was so depressed after Lali died and missed him so much that I didn’t care whether I lived or died — except for one thing. My daughter was still alive and she needed me. So if I would have continued that pregnancy into whatever would have happened, including losing my life, I couldn’t take that risk. I had another child who needed me.

So there’s that for the Extreme Pro-Life Asshole Argument. These were my choices and despite the Extreme Total Pro-Life Insane Religious Freak Abuse Argument — the word is choices.

That’s what it is. A choice. Imposing extreme anti-human punitive anti-abortion laws on women is anything but that.

No sane woman says stuff like Lena Dunham, who famously bragged how much she wished she could have an abortion. No woman dances into an abortion clinic at 9 months pregnant and gleefully has a Kermit Gosnell partial-birth/murder abortion.

For the overwhelming majority of people seeking abortions, it’s a last resort, a much regretted step, and a sad day. No normal woman wants to take any potential life away. She does it because it is the best choice in a bad circumstance.

Anti-Abortion (“pro life”) advocates neglect any semblance of humanity in this situation. I’ve talked to priests who regretfully admitted there are some times when choosing to end a pregnancy is the best choice among a group of bad alternatives. Not these Abortion Law maniacs. They’ll have women having babies on the streets and be taking the babies to Soylent Green factories before they admit how wrong they are.

I’m absolutely terrified that the “next steps” after our current crop of anti-abortion laws will be a return to literal slavery, along with laws permitting men to marry multiple 12 year-old “wives.” Heck why not add the sister and daughter wives to that. The more the merrier!

There are already 1 million people in prison who are doing some form of very low-paid or unpaid labor that benefits a rich person or company. We’ve accepted toxic food that probably contributes some of the health conditions our @Medium writers are educating us about, like lipodema. We’ve allowed toxic opioid companies to profit from horrific suffering and addiction. We let our ‘leaders’ start wars for the profit of international billionaires and give up the lives of our best and brightest young people in this endeavor while destroying the environment and planet.

These laws aren’t about “preserving life,” they’re about forcing women to have unwanted babies. They come at a time when young men and women are choosing not to have babies because times are so hard for the majority, they can’t afford them. It isn’t about the “right to life” for the unborn baby at this point. These laws point to a very dark potential future, one where people are animals to be farmed for future prison or actual slave labor. We have to fight for our lives and our human rights and now is the time because the only direction it can go from here is down unless we stand up and fight.

And I’m sorry to say for those who already don’t know: Lena Dunham and her ‘sisters’ are useless when it comes to getting anything done or having anyone’s back in a fight. Those of us who are known for our unpaid labor, having our noses to the grindstone, cleaning toilets, and all the rest of it are the ones who are going to have to get this hard, dirty, dangerous, risky job done.

Did you know one of the Alabama lawmakers behind his state’s draconian asshole anti-abortion law is an OB/GYN whose malpractice leading to multiple deaths of babies and mothers inspired previous pro-woman laws? That’s why the jerk ran for election and got elected in the Land of Cotton and Baby Farmers.

The worst. The absolute worst — ever.

Amy Sterling Casil

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According to Harlan Ellison and my grandmother, “You’ll go far Amy, because you have heart.” Author of 40 books, former exec., Nebula Award nominee, Poor.

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