Alarm Clock — 11:38 pm: Reflection
Tales of ordinary awakening.
Falling in love is good. The sensation we get when we become enchanted with someone is priceless and our perception of the world around us changes. Our ways change and people notice it. Then we take a step further and ask our loved one to become also that one who loves us. That’s the challenge. Some wins and some loses. While we don’t care about the comforts that the former condition brings, on a level we’re more aware and sensitive to the consequences of the latter.
When you’re rejected, you have to live with that, because you don’t lose enchantment for that person right away. You have to internalize the fact she’s not going to be your partner, for she doesn’t want you. So in the first few days, when you cry your heart out and say the world is a horrible place, God hates you and you’ll always be alone, another part of you reacts and dives into routine, chores, initiatives and, why not, the so-much-hated day job. All in order to forget the failure. And the fact you still want the person.
Then you see two lovers. Two people hanging out, holding hands, talking to each other and kissing. You stop doing what you were doing and look at them. And for a moment you feel at peace. That peace is conveyed by their presence, their state of serenity. Instead of tearing your guts and heart away, you feel good because of them. Why?
Because your subconscious mind reflected their condition into yourself.
There was a Russian couple who dined at the restaurant I work in. They arrived at 3 pm and left at midnight. First they drank something and chatted. Murmured in low voice, caressed each other, kissed and drank again. Then they ordered something to eat at dinner time and continued murmuring, teasing each other with only looks. Then they kissed, their dishes slowly emptying. Then they ordered a bottle of the finest champagne, filled their glasses and had a toast.
A feeble “ding” in mid air.
They were enjoying their time together and the peace bubble in which they were acting emanated vibes of tranquility that permeated my being, so I worked in a state of calm and quietude. I was reflecting myself into them. Into him, in this case. Their love story was the realization of the one I had failed to build.
*Alarm Clock is a 30-part series of tales of self-awareness and awakening. Sometimes we are blind to our inner power and we need a third eye to watch over us. And a voice to bring us back to reality, before it’s too late.
