Don’t Want To Die A Mr.Nobody …….
The reality of this life is that you’ll come across many things you want to pursue, and that’s beautiful, however due to unanticipated circumstances these things may interfere with one another. This creates the perplexities of having to make a choice and furthermore the right choice at that. I realized this very early in life but it wasn’t until 17 that my understanding of making choices took a turn. The year was 2014 and I had just finished watching the Jaco Van Dormael film “Mr.Nobody”, the plot being centered around a young boy having to choose between living with his father or his mother and how that decision and all the decisions to follow would each affect his life in a different way. My initial reaction to the movie is summed up by a statement from the main character as a child:
It seemed to me that if I refrained from making any serious choices then I wouldn’t have to worry about making any wrong choices. Although an interesting concept for some odd reason my mind would absolutely not let me settle into the idea of a life that is by and large stagnant. Over the several following days I kept thinking about the old man version of the main character and one specific thing he said:
“Nemo Nobody aged 118: Urgh, you’re still here? Did I fall asleep? Sometimes I don’t sleep so I think… I think about how it was… and all I have left. What do you see when you look at me? A grumpy old man who never answers questions? Who mixes things up? Who’s kept busy by getting his meals? That’s not me. Me… I wear shorts. I’m nine years old. I can run faster than the train. I can’t feel my aching back anymore. I’m fifteen. I’m fifteen and I’m in love.”
Here the main character was old and unhappy all because he chose to live life without making choices. Was doing nothing to avoid making the wrong choice really worth it? What about missing out the opportunity to make the right choice? With only one life to live and wanting it to be as perfect as possible these were certainly important questions to consider. After months on end of contemplation I ironically made a choice about making choices. I had decided that no matter wrong or right I would face choices level headed and simply pick whatever I felt more strongly for. If life is a game of chess I much rather make my move and have the king checkmated than to sit in zugzwang. It had occurred to me that I don’t want to die a Mr.Nobody.
Once learning that lesson here’s how the rest of my life went, the paths I took and how those paths interacted with one another.
Friendship: I was 21 and my best friend (who is more like my brother) an I pooled our money to move to LA and start our film company.
Partnership: Having been in a rap group together as kids and worked together on many different art projects, we were no strangers to being partners and thus never had to worry about such things jeopardizing our friendship. Movie making was just another common goal that we tackled together.
Social Life: A social life being important to the human psyche and essentially a part of life in the movie business. I was allowed to keep my friendships, my partnership, and my social life.
So far I hadn’t had to choose between any paths.
Career: I was getting older and it was time to start getting serious about my career. I always knew I wanted to be a politician and figured I was at the perfect point in time to start making a name for myself in that world. Not that success wasn’t seen there but just ready to turn a new leaf I left film behind and in doing so I gave up my partnership and put my friendship to the side to focus on myself. As far as social life I was surrounding myself with established politicians, and fellow revolutionaries who wanted to make a difference.
Romance: SKRT SKRT SKRT GIRL I’M DONE WITH YOU. Sike nah, I found my lady through my career and had no trouble with one interfering with the other as they more so balanced each other out. However my social life took a strain as my beloved didn’t want me to associate with a few of the people I had in my circle. More than likely all for the better I had no problem readjusting the squad’s circumference.
Spiritual Enlightenment: My social life took an even further strain when I committed to being a Rastafari. However in the loss of a few friends I gained many more who saw I to eye with my spiritual commitments.
Leadership: My first large leadership position was as a congressman, later a senator, and lastly President of the U.S.A. I changed the system to a t. Sending global warming into remission, ending inequality and oppression and setting this world back on track to the goal of utopia. My leadership being a part of my career, and allowing me to place my loved ones and friends in positions to erect change with me. The only thing I had to give up on the path of leadership was my partnership. Not too shabby for someone who was afraid to make choices.
The Year is 2070 and I’m now 71. I don’t have much time left and I’ve been spending my latest days coming up with an epitaph for my tombstone. Here’s a few that I’ve come up with “I was born underwater with 3 dollars and 6 dimes. Back soon.” because I believe in reincarnation or it’ll say “Gangsta’s don’t die, they get chubby and they move to Miami. R.I.P” because that’s just keeping it g or it’ll say “See you at the crossroads, so you won’t be lonely. Rest In Paradise” or “How many leaders you said you needed then left ‘em for dead?” if I die off some Malcolm X, Che Guevara type stuff. Or it’ll say “Wish we could run to the sun, and never come back. N.E.R.D”. Despite my indecisiveness on what my tombstone will say, I know exactly what it won’t say “Here lies Mr.Nobody. He never made any choices. Rest In Peace.”.