Unpopular Opinion: Leslie Knope is a Dick, Especially to Ann
Leslie Knope has become the patron saint of do-g0oder, take-charge ladies everywhere who love their friends and would do anything for them. The supporting characters in Parks and Recreation support this characterization and are constantly talking about how they are willing to sacrifice for Leslie because she has done so much to help them. But unless you count weird gifts and oddly-worded compliments, Leslie takes far, far more from her friends then she ever gives. In fact, she is kind of an all-around asshole, especially to her best friend Ann.
(SPOILERS BELOW)
Exhibit A: The first hint of Leslie’s assholery is in season two (Although to be fair I’ve always skipped season one, so her ascendancy to King Dick Mountain could have begun much sooner), when Leslie volunteers her entire staff to man an all-night telethon. ON THE DAY OF THE TELETHON, no less, their plans, sleep and lives be damned. While there, her biggest act is running late, so Leslie convinces her best friend Ann’s boyfriend to propose to her in order to BOOST THE RATINGS OF THE TELETHON. Perhaps Leslie would have known that Ann would never be into that idea if Leslie had made any time to speak with her, but she couldn’t even give her ten minutes. At the end of the show, I guess we’re supposed to think Leslie is awesome for stopping by to talk to Ann, except she parks her car on Ann’s lawn and then without asking crashes on her couch for like an entire day so Ann has to babysit her? That’s … not awesome even a little bit.
Exhibit B: In the first part of season three, you really get a taste for Leslie’s overriding selfishness. In an effort to save her parks and recreation department from budget cuts (which, by the way, would fuck schools, police and fire in the zero-sum game of city budgets), she convinces — who else — her best friend Ann to take the delightful Chris Traeger out on a date to manipulate him into saving the parks and rec budget. For what it’s worth, she also tries to get Ann to sleep with Chris to increase the chances of success, which is sleazy on a number of levels. But what’s worse, she doesn’t even trust Ann to do the job right. So Leslie shows up on the date — allegedly to help — before blowing the whole operation with a slip of the tongue. Chris becomes hip to their plan and is deeply hurt, which in turn deeply hurts Ann.
Exhibit C: Poor Ann. at this point it’s like a horror movie. Leslie volunteers Ann for an open position at the parks and rec department that Ann never asked for. Leslie is completely baffled by Ann’s reticence to interview, since Leslie assumes (and vocalizes) that nursing is the worst job ever. So, essentially, all this time, Leslie has been quietly judging Ann about her profession, arrogantly believing any sane person would jump at the opportunity to leave such a shit job. Once again, Leslie never asked Ann any of this. In fact, once when Ann was sweetly reminiscing about how she had saved a man’s life, Leslie ignores it completely and changes the subject about her date that night. When Ann does not become over-the-moon about the job she never asked for, Leslie gets angry and yells at her in a drunken rage.
Exhibit D: Tired of hurting her best friend, Leslie decides to start fucking with Ben, the love of her life, beginning in season four. Leslie breaks up with Ben because their romance would be a conflict of interest and hurt her political ambitions. Hey. No harm, no foul. That’s a completely fine thing to do. Except she refuses to let Ben go, trying to ruin any new potential romances he might strike up and entrapping him through a parks project so that she can still have time with him, even though he had already expressed how hurtful it was to hang out with the woman he loved who dumped him. Not once did she think that this might be a cruel thing to do to Ben, so Ann — who should know — explains to Leslie that she is constantly making people do things they don’t want to do for her own happiness.
Ann: You’re a steamroller! You’re a massive, runaway steamroller with no brakes and a cement brick on the gas pedal! You made me watch all eight Harry Potter movies. I don’t even like Harry Potter!
Leslie: That’s insane! You love Harry Potter! You’ve seen all eight movies!
Exhibit E: Eventually, Leslie returns to her first love: Fucking up Ann. On Valentine’s Day, Leslie assumes that Ann will be miserable on account of being single and without asking her, sets Ann up on a series of rotating dates — one more disastrous and ridiculous than the next. Instead of vetting them first, Leslie throws Ann into the mouth of the dating lion. Let’s be clear. It’s fine to want to see your friends in a relationship. It’s a real dick move to foist dates upon them when they didn’t agree to it.
Exhibit F: Season five really ramps things up in Leslie’s insane vengeance towards Ann. When Ann announces that she would like to become a mother by way of sperm donor, Leslie tells Ann that this is a bad decision because her prince will come, and it is always really cool when a coupled person tells a single person something like this. Anyhow, Ann holds interviews for a possible sperm donor. Leslie, in an attempt to sabotage her friend’s dream, spills the beans to one of these would-be daddies about the reason for the interview and, oh yeah, he’s a radio shock-jock. Can you guess what happens? He goes on the show the next day to announce he’s having a baby because some lady was trolling for his sperm. I honestly cannot think of a bigger invasion of privacy perpetrated by anyone, much less a best friend. But don’t worry, Leslie wallows around in some jello so all is forgiven. (?)
Exhibit G: In a last parting shot, Leslie makes Ann feel guilty for moving away from Pawnee in order to give her and Chris’ unborn baby a better life. Leslie throws toddler-esque fits before begrudgingly accepting that Ann, too, has a life. Later on, Leslie offends a shit ton of other women by trying to literally replace Ann — who has been gone all of a few months — though she is unable to find another woman BFF who will take Leslie’s bullshit treatment.
These examples are just the tip of the iceberg. Throughout the show, Leslie’s friends give up their time, ambitions, dignity and any trace of work/life balance in order to cater to Leslie’s every ridiculous whim. She often pokes her nose into others’ business (April and Andy’s wedding) and causes unnecessary grief in doing so (Reuniting Ron and Tammy-two). Despite this, all of her friends unwaveringly support her. But no one, no one has it as badly as Ann, who just wanted a pit filled by her house and instead got seven seasons of un pit-filling and subtle jabs about her looks, career, boyfriends and life. We’re led to believe that Leslie has done so, so much for her friends — but maybe that was all done when the cameras were turned off.
*****Also I love Parks and Recreation and the writers, actors and characters, even and especially Leslie.
