Hi hopelessness -
Remember that time you laid in the back of your sisters pick-up truck at the drive-in movie theater? Snuggled in blankets, you looked up and remembered how miraculous the world can be as you gazed at a sky full of stars. Do you remember how tears filled your eyes because of the warm and genuine joy you felt? I do.
Remember when you woke up at six a.m. and spent the day painting? You jumped out of bed with inspiration and stayed in your pajamas throughout the day. Do you remember how free you felt as you guided the paintbrush across the white canvas and saw beauty appear? I do.
Do you remember when you discovered how magical rivers could be? You noticed how colorful the stones were at the bottom of the river. When you set them out to dry, their color went away. You put them back in the water because you didn’t want their vibrance to fade. Remember how much pure serenity you felt as you saw their uniqueness reappear? I do.
I know the sads and bads right now are heavy and deep. They will not stay forever. The sads and bads might return but maybe quieter next time.
I know you want joy and peace to come, I know you’re having a hard time remembering that it was once here, and it will come back.
The value of helping others is close to your heart and I know that value has been cloudy because of self criticism and feeling helpless. You will be able to welcome many new people into your life and you will be able to show them they are loved.
I know you feel weighed down by emotional aches and pains. You will be able to embrace new experiences and surrender past pains. More hurts will arise and you will be able to cope with them.
I know you feel crippled by anxiety. I know you live in fear and panic. One day you be able to breathe again without effort. You will be able to inhale calm and exhale stress. You will understand freedom.
You are not alone. You will get through this moment. You will be okay. There are others that experience what you do and there are supports that simply do not have to understand to help.
Its okay that this will take time.
I will not stay quiet, I will not grow silent. I will stay with you and gently remind you everyday.