Why does CrossFit sound so Gay?

I’ve overheard a Cross-Fitter hard selling CF to a dude — saying that CF is better in conditioning than plain ol’ lifting. I’m intrigued now as to what the hell are these CFers smoking?

Cross fitters like that guy must be smoking something STRONG! I gotta find out where he’s getting his supply!

So I said above that Crossfit sounds gay. Does that mean I’m hating on Crossfit specifically?

Not really. In fact I LOVE CROSSFIT!!

I LOVE CrossFit as just as much as I LOVE group dance exercises
I LOVE Crossfit Just as much as I LOVE “Fitness Spas” and Fancy corpo Gyms.
I love Crossfit just as much as I LOVE my soup served cold
And LOVE Crossfit just as much as I LOVE Celebrity Gossips, politicians, colorful unicorns, and hyped-out supplements that claim to be SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHORUGHS!!

Really, it’s all about the “Hype”. It’s no different from all those exaggeratedly marketed “Diet Techniques” that your average health guru always sells you. It’s also no different from all those complicated “Workout” regimens that “Experts” shovel into unsuspecting newbs to get them to subscribe to their useless programs.

Well but that’s how marketing works — I don’t have to love it but that’s reality.

You see, here in About Lifting, we pride ourselves in delivering unadulterated facts and simple methods to produce the gains that you look for. We go by the simple 7 principles — our granddaddy principles in order to simplify the steps we need to take in order to get you achieve the ends that you seek. Because hey that’s how I like things, nice and simple..NO BS!

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Now, we have regimens and programs like this CF which are the exact opposite of “simple”. These programs are designed to “appeal” and so that they can charge more. If you simply want achieve results without the extra fancy elements like me, then clubs like Crossfit may not be the best place to look.

What if you want “Functional?”
Well, crossfit does feature a lot of functional moves like squats, and some Olympic lifts. But to be honest:

If you really want “functional” — then why not just TRAIN under the specific sportwhere you want “Function” to apply? I just don’t get it.
And if you want all around conditioning you can really never go wrong with Martial arts training — bonus is that it may actually save your life.

In the end the Crossfit may only be functional if you are training for “Crossfit” itself.

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Otherwise if you want to train crossfit because you want it to carry over to your sport, forget it! Just look for excellent programs for whatever sport you want and stick to that.

I.E — if you want to jump higher, then do some explosive vertical jump training.

– If you want to increase your bench then do some strength training programs for benching

-If you want to run farther then run some marathons.

-And if you want to outrun your debt collector then do some sprints and train explosively!

-If you want to become good at football — then do some effing football training!

-If you want to become a better basketball player — then do some basketball training!

-If you want to become a better X player — then do some X training!

And MOST ESPECIALLY — if you want to OLYMPIC LIFT, then look for a professional facility that offers Olympic Weight Lifting!

It should be as simple as that.
And who said that plain old lifting and bodybuilding type training isn’t “functional”? Even Runners need to lift weights!

I have nothing against the Kipping Pullups though, for me it’s just another way to do pullups
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But that is not to say that Crossfit is entirely useless or doesn’t work:

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Crossfit sure has some great products. If you are around a good CF gym you will definitely encounter some CFers who are huge and ripped. But how exactly did they achieve those results? Well some high intensity interval exercises and

LIFTING

Yes, lifting. Plain and simple! That means Crossfit works not because it’s anything special or is some kind of a “Breakthorugh” (how I HATE that word!)
But the thing is that it’s just too hyped and it’s as if people think that it’s synonymous to exercise in its entirety and the hip crowd seem to think it’s the ULTIMATE exercise regimen of them all.

Well it’s NOT! OKAY??

Plain and simple resistance training — that is the answer to all of your fitness troubles and will heal all the chronic illnesses of the western world.

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And the dude is right, we’re all just out of SHAPE and that’s all thanks to the modern lifestyle and the demands of the 21st century living.
But that’s what Crossfit’s gotten right

– they’ve incorporated some Heavy Ass Weight Lifting to some badass High Intensity Interval Exercise and mixed it up with trendy fancy elements that the hype-sensitive crowd truly craves for.
So here’s my humble recommendations:

What type of an individual are you?

If you are the type who enjoys “fun” and “interactive” group exercises like Zumba, Intensity, Hip Hop Abs, etc — then CrossFit is just right for you.

Budget vs Results

CrossFit will bring you the same results in terms of fitness and/or athletic carry-over that a simple gym membership can for more than double the price. But you may be the type of person who just craves this kind of activity and have a good amount of cash to spend; if so then I say GO FOR IT!

Commitment

There are people who cannot commit to simple and straightforward type of resistance training program even if it will bring them the results that they wanted. Let’s face it; for most people, resistance training is boring and only the most dedicated gym rats enjoy the pain and repetitive process. If you are one of these people who cannot commit to resistance training as we know it — then you should consider trying CrossFit.

Do you like group exercises?

Do you enjoy group exercises like Zumba, Yoga, Pilates, Intensity, etc? If your answer is yes, then you should definitely look for a Crossfit Gym near you! People who enjoy group exercises like those tend to be the same people who do well with Crossfit.

Look for a good trainer who knows HOW TO LIFT!

Like what we have discussed above; the results you’re gonna get from Crossfit would mostly be from lifting — and NOT just lifting but OLYMPIC type of lifts (for most gyms). In that case it would only be sane to really look for an instructor who has experience coaching Olympic Lifters.

Take note: I don’t know what some CF’ers are thinking but in reality, Olympic lifts aren’t meant to be done with HIGH REPS!! How did I know? Ask any Olympic Weight Lifter.
There are dozens of instructors out there who are just there to ride Cross fits’ gravy train — And guess what — THEY NEVER EVEN LIFTED WEIGHTS BEFORE! You will see Ex-dance instructors Pilates, trainers etc who don’t know shít about lifts and the best case scenario for you being mentored by these types of assholes is that you will get no results at all — worst case scenario is that you will get injured!
The good news is that there are also a lot of experienced weightlifters out there who are also taking advantage of the popularity of Crossfit and these people know their SHíT!!

And if you are around Mc Pherson, KS you can contact Glenn Pendlay. Here’s his twitter account and here’s a link to his website.
Well, all in all I don’t like Crossfit — I think its gay, cliché, and unnecessarily expensive; And I don’t want to sip on that Kool Aid.

BUT THAT’S JUST ME!!
Crossfit is still a form of EXERCISE nonetheless and if simple and straightforward resistance training is not your thing then you should consider signing up for Crossfit as it will still bring you the Health Benefits that exercise will bring. Eat your Eggs, A-Lifters!!