Puzzle pieces fitting together
I was not always so unclear about my talents, skills and abilities. There was a time when I knew what I was good at, how to best utilise my time, more productive and quite self assured. During my varsity years I wasn’t quite sure what I was really good at. I mean, I studied subjects that stimulated me, but nothing really seemed to give me the self re-assurance I was hoping academics would bring. Until recently…
A woman called into my office at work recently, she wanted a colleague of mine to speak at an event she was planning. I saw the brief for the event, what the event would entail and the intellectual capacity the topics they wanted this potential speaker to cover. My heart was screaming, “YES!”. At that time I knew what my hearts was saying. It was beckoning me to give myself up for the offer. But the professional in me said, “Not your time”, and I let it go.
I proceeded to pass the request to my manager to have a glance at and then forward it on to my colleague, who was not based in the office anymore. A week or two later, the same woman called again. Apparently she hadn’t heard anything from my colleague. It had seemed that my manager hadn’t reached him. She followed up with an e-mail asking me if I knew any other potential speakers I could recommend to her. Mannit, this time it was as if the universe whispered to me “Yes, this is yours!”, and I replied without hesitation. A minute later she called me completely amused. She asked, almost perplexed, “The first time I asked for a speaker, why did you not say anything?” The answer was simple really, “You hadn’t asked for me, and I wasn’t going to take an opportunity away from a colleague who also rightfully deserved it.” And I meant it you know.
When something is yours, it will feel right, there will be no resistance and every fiber of your being will say “Yes!”, at this point, there will be no guilt, no shyness, no clouds of doubt or worry washing over you. I often know when things are meant for me, because the puzzle pieces just fit together, you know. They just come together with least effort, and at that moment, if I am mindful enough I can see how the universe moved things around just for me.
I now know that the universe moved people and situations, with a nice collaboration of people’s libertarian acts to bring this opportunity to me. I also know in order for me to know that it was truly meant for me, I did nothing to skew the odds in my favour, I stayed true to my integrity and yet the pieces still fit just fine.
Trust, I was tempted to offer myself when I heard the proposal, but my better judgement yanked me back. I remember feeling a minor sadness of thinking I just let a speaker opportunity go. I know now, that the sadness I felt was connected to the feeling of knowing my capabilities; where I had a glimpse of a reminder of my capabilities, skills and talent. As I share this story, I smile to myself thinking “I was indeed born to inspire through word, this is me”.