What happens when we recognize each others’ struggles?

A recently made up word , sonder, is when you become aware that everyone is living an experience as vibrant and vivid as your own.

What if we remembered that everyone is aware?

What if we truly remember, when we look into someone’s eyes, that they’re not only a supporting character in your story; they’re a main character in their own?

So often, we act as if there’s no consciousness behind the superficial meat puppet we interact with. We act like her grandmother didn’t just die last year or that he always wanted his parent’s approval.

Yesterday, my yoga teacher training group sat in a circle as a trusted advisor helped us dig into ourselves and find the things holding us back and pushing us forward as teachers.

We must have cried about 6 to 10 times each. Probably more. As each woman in the circle shared her story, we cried and hugged her. We practically went through a whole box of tissues, as each of us shared what was going on behind the person sitting on the floor with us all weekend.

And after that exercise, we understood more about ourselves and more about each other. We understand why one person was slowly gaining confidence, while another struggled to be heard.

If we could treat people as if we had already heard their stories, I think we all would be a lot kinder to one another.

Because we really have heard their stories. We hear variations whenever we allow ourselves to get close with people. Stories of life, death, expectations, and betrayal of those expectations.

We all have wildly unique, exquisite experiences, but they’re variations of the same tales we find in our fiction.

Recognize that everyone is battling their own inner struggle, just as you battle yours. It doesn’t matter how perfect their lives look on social media or on Facebook.

Treat them as more than just a projection to work out your problems on. Treat them as a person, figure out how you can serve them.

That doesn’t mean you should let them walk all over you, but it does mean you should recognize the spark inside them, and that it’s made of the same stuff as your own.

Let’s learn how we can make their earthly experience just a little bit lighter.