My journal from September 3, 2022, 9:53 A.M.
Your ego is here. You can not escape it. Eat it. 많이 먹고! Do not hide your ego and gas, everyone, up! No 멘붕(mental breakdown). Run, walk, power hike, skip. Enjoy. Body Scans. Talk with others. 마음대로(as you wish). keep going. How to go faster? Wrong question….
How to accept the limits of the moment and press up against them?!
In 2019 I failed at the 112 km race in Jeju. I hated and loved that time. It was my first DNF and in many ways, I was chasing the idea of failure. I hated the fact that I thought people were counting on me to finish the race. In reality, nobody cared. It was my ego that cared.
I am an idealist dreamer which is dangerous when you have momentum and do what many believe to be impossible. I did this from 2016 when I finished my first marathon up until the DNF. Most people don’t think they can run, walk, and crawl for a marathon. My argument is that most people don’t want to and/or shouldn’t make the time to do so. That is perfectly ok but, for me, working the training into my life has been a perfect crossing training for life to this point.
I was doing the training in 2019 but I wasn’t recovering. I also was living like a “normal” person as well. I wasn’t sleeping enough and I wasn’t giving my body time to recover. Lesson learned. We were also served a global pandemic which assisted in me being able to not get distracted with new shiny races and ideas. I kept my body moving, enrolled in the Positive Coaching grad school program, and focused on active recovery.
August 2022 — I went to Jeju. This was a solo mission and a practice trail run for my 50 km. I was toying with the idea of doing the 112km again but I decided I didn’t have time to do the training and it would be an ego move to jump back to the 112km. I learned some valuable lessons on the trails that hot August day.
1. How you handle low points. It is not if they will come, it is when they come.
2. Always slower than I thought. It was hot and I needed to take breaks. Always be moving forward. always move as fast as possible. SAFELY!
3. Every time I die equals the moment I learn. BROKEN BROKEN.
I had some rough goals working in my notebook following my August 2022 practice run leading up to the October 2022 50km real deal.
Run my own race. 1. Posture 2. Food 3. Cadence 4. Fun / Conversation etc.
CP1 — run/walk power hike 8 km 7:30 am
CP2–21 km 10:00 am power hike/strength breathe
CP3–36 km Technicaltechnical technical 2 pm
just keep swimming
CP4–45 km 4 pm
My plan morphed into this…
My start was much different than most of the others. I always wanted to be in the upper half of the field in the past. During the starting line of this race, I was crouching in the back and didn’t care to move up into the crowd. I divided my “mantras” or “goals” into 6 sections.
Take Energy
We started through the city and the plan was to take energy from others. First-timers and people, in general, feel good at the start. This was the time to look around and see the smiles. My goal was to get to the first checkpoint by 7:30 a.m.
Goal: I met my goal. I took it slow enough and had no problems up until checkpoint 1. = 56 minutes
Skipping Foot Fires
The next section was into the woods. Most of the time was spent on single-track trails and sometimes there were rocky portions. The key for me was to focus on short and choppy steps. My plan was to not be afraid to go slow and it was ok for light jogging or even walking.
Luckily for me, I got into a pack of runners where I wasn’t able to slow down and walk. They were moving at a good pace and gave me the confidence to navigate on the uneven rocky terrain. In my practice “run” back in August, I walked this portion because it was hot and I didn’t think I could go very fast.
Power Hike
In trail running, you need to use your strengths. Hiking is my strength and I feel comfortable doing it. For the next section, I put my head down and focused on my breathing. I didn’t look at my watch. In the past, I would have looked at my watch and I would have been stressed about the time. I always think it is too late. My goal for checkpoint 2 was 10:00 am.
Goal: I met my goal here. It was 9:00 a.m. and I was feeling good.
Your Own Race
On this very mountain, I got hurt in 2019. I was skipping on lava rocks down the mountain and taking long strides. There were little Asians flying by me and my ego got the best of me. I was thinking, how can they go so fast? I tried to keep up and overstriding. Somewhere along the way, I hurt my knee.
During the race in Oct 2022, I was determined to only go as fast as I could and run my own race. There was extra focus on the decline here. My goal for checkpoint 3 was 2:00 p.m.
Goal: I met my goal and was at checkpoint 3 at 11:38 a.m.
Just Keep Swimming
I respect David Goggins, but I have used the things he has said in races before and it is not very sustainable for me. I tested the Dory mantra in this race haha. “Just Keep Swimming.” Anytime I felt the mental breakdown energy rise in me, I repeated this line.
The section between CP3 and CP4 was extremely technical in my practice run in August. In the heat of summer, I cracked. I was so angry and frustrated. “How do people run on this sh*t?!” It didn’t matter how they run on it. This is where I had my realization. The thing that matters is how I can run on it. This is where I remembered my basketball drills as a kid. To close out on defenders you need to get low, use choppy steps, and practice foot fires. This minefield of rocks was perfect for skipping and pretending I was using my foot fires. The key was to not overstride and pick up your feet as quickly as possible.
Your experiences and skillset will be totally unique. Use those experiences to work for you in the moment.
Goal: I met my goal here as well. My goal was 4 pm and I was here just after 1 pm.
Give Energy
From CP4 to the finish it was almost all downhill from there. We climbed this terrain earlier this morning. Short words of encouragement were given to some people I passed along the way. There were a few people I had short conversations with throughout the day and I linked back up with one of them for the finish. It felt good to finish. It felt good to finish ahead of my goal. It was great to come in a full two hours better than I had finished back in 2017, which was my first trail run. It was also my first attempt since my DNF at 112 km in October 2019.
There are many things that I was proud of from that race. The improvement, preparation, healthy finish, and learning experiences of course.
2022 October — 52.8 km — 2,014m elevation — 07:45:10 = Rank 116/794
2017 October — 51.6 km — 1,973m elevation — 09:36:43 = Rank 89/221
On that October day, I just kept swimming and I ran my own race.
TransJeju 2019 — Transjeju 2022
Many things happened between 2019–2022 but I am still here.
Until the next race,
Peace be the journey,
-Ace
