My Struggles Being Unsocial Person
Being “unsocial” is a choice, but for college students, socializing is one of the best ways to expand their connections in the society and ideas by learning from other people. Learning how to socialize with other students might be a tough job for students like me who prefers to be alone in my spare times but it is very important to understand how crucial it is to go out and communicate with others. There are times where I feel lonely but the struggles to talk to my classmates keeps me in the dark. Most of my classmates thinks that I am a very outspoken and sociable person, but what they didn’t know is that I am a very timid person and the person that they see in the class is just me wearing a mask trying who tries to overcome his fears of being judged by other people.
“Trust” is a common word but has a very deep meaning for me and is extremely hard to find. I believe that one of the reasons that stop me from socializing with other people is the lack of trust to myself and to others. I have a hard time trusting people because of my past experiences where I gave my full trust to other people but ended up regretting it. I had a hard time coping up in the past, that’s why I want to carefully choose the people whom I think I can trust and by that I can fully give my time and attention to them.
Another reason why I don’t socialize that much is that the pressure of fitting in the group. I understand that in order to connect with a certain group of people, we need to blend in with their surroundings and I find it extremely difficult. I am a very opinionated person. I always say or do what I think it’s correct and because of that I always get into an argument with the group which ended up into a physical fight. I also have no confidence in myself to blend in with people. I always find myself different and doesn’t fit the group. Also, I think of socializing is an extremely exhausting work.
I am not saying that I closed my door to meet and socialize with other people but for now, I enjoy being alone. Well, there are times that I felt really sad and lonely. I ask myself why I don’t have friends, that why I always lose friends but I couldn’t find an answer for those questions. I don’t really know why I am being like this, but I hope one day I can overcome this stubbornness of mine.