Dear Millennial:

Welcome to your first 40th birthday!*

Startling fact: 100% of all Boomers alive today have been young. Another startling fact, 100% of Millennials, alive or dead, today have never been old. If experience counts, all Boomers have a PhD in being young while Millennials are just starting school on being old.

When you feel that Boomers don’t understand you, please consider that they probably do understand you more than you know. Indeed, they were you a scant 13–49* years ago.

When Boomers feel that you do not understand them, please consider…

Karma’s a bitch.

My advice to your generation? Don’t eat your tail. The more emphasis you place on youth, the younger and younger you will be marginalized. Don’t respect anyone over 50? You may not be respected when you are over 50. Don’t respect anyone over 40? 30? Well…. You get how this vicious cycle works, yes?

All this finger pointing about who got the trophy and who gave the trophy is meaningless and cliche. *Every* younger generation rails against the older generation. *Every* older generation feels they had it harder than the younger generation. The only things that seem to be changing are:

  • People are living a helluva lot longer, and
  • Attitudes and values are changing faster and faster (thank you, Technology!)

So, while this story is an old and tired one, the generational war has higher stakes this time. For YOU, dear millennial. Think about it. How old are you? Do you feel uncomfortable stating your age if you are 30 or older, or even approaching 30? For that matter, what about 40?! Do you feel like a failure because you aren’t CEO/Star/Famous/Rich yet?

Well, knock that shit off unless you want to live in some dystopian, Logan’s Run equivalent (Google it). Savor your time on this planet and respect the aging process because, honestly, the alternative sucks. And be kind to the oldsters. Who knows, they might help you get a job (or you may take it from them — see “karma’s a bitch” above), teach you a new skill, or leave you their house when they kick it!

Happy birthday.

Now, get off my lawn!

1977–1995 Millennial
Oldest Boomer — Youngest Millennial = [1946 -1995] = 49 years
1964–1946 Boomer
Youngest Boomer — Oldest Millennial = [1964–1977] = 13 years

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