Your Next Boyfriend Needs To Be A Player

Adam Simonini

For adamsimonini.com

1) He will actively choose you, instead of merely settling for you

2) He will promote attraction instead of inhibit it

3) You’ll be less likely to lose respect for him

(1) He Actively Chooses You, Instead Of Merely Settling For You

What’s more romantic than saying “You’ll do for tonight”, or how about “You’re my second choice babe”? The answer: just about anything else. Here is a list of romantic sayings: “You’re special”, “You’re 1 in a million”, “I could never replace you”, “You’re perfect for me”. All of the aforementioned sayings lose a significant deal of significance when the one saying them has nothing to make a comparison with.

It’s like trying vanilla ice cream and exclaiming “Yup, this right here, this is perfection! And no, I have not, and will not, try any of the other 30 flavours at Baskin Robbins. No, you see this right here, this is perfect. No ice cream could possibly be better, and I refuse to test that conclusion!”

It’s actually along the same lines of narrow-minded, dogmatic thinking that progressive, liberal, independent, and free minded individuals like yourself put up the good fight against — and rightfully so! “Why then,” I must ask, “why do you not see the same two-dimensional, narrow, faulty, and disingenuous thoughtlessness as equally problematic when it arises in a most profoundly significant aspect of your life: your dealings with the opposite sex?”

If your next boyfriend is someone who has seen many women, then you know that any romantic utterance escaping his lips is not coming from desperation. He doesn’t see you as his only choice. If he is lucky to have you, it isn’t because he couldn’t find anyone better. He isn’t a starving dog and you aren’t the leftovers he ravenously eats as his bowl touches the kitchen floor. Of course, he might be saying those romantic things in order to play you.

(2) He Will Promote Attraction Instead of Inhibiting It

He allows you to chase. He allows you to be curious about his intrigue. He doesn’t chase you relentlessly. His life is multifaceted. He has hobbies, friends, and goals. In this sense, to hang out with him is to join in on an adventure. To share a day is to explore and discover. He has this odd conviction that if things don’t work out with you, he can and will find another amazing woman. You don’t know he has this belief. Whatever it is — “There is something about him. I don’t know. He’s just confident and not the least insecure” — it’s refreshing, and you want to keep it. You find yourself thinking about him, and wanting to add to the adventure. You want to add to the discovery that is the two of you.

He brings forth within you a desire to build. The two of you jointly work on the canvas that is your relationship. Free from judgement and insecurity, you wield your brush with ease and delightfully outline while he shades. You add overtones while he adds texture. You contribute contrast while he constructs contours. His security, arising from his conviction, allows you to find in him strength worth pursuing. He gives you the gift of chasing him, as he chases you.

(3) You’ll Be Less Likely To Lose Respect For Him

Whatever it is about him, he’s worth trying for. He’s worthy your thoughts. He’s worth your tears. He’s worth your love. You might not necessarily respect any old man worthy of your thoughts, tears, and love; but you know damn well it’s impossible to respect a man you know isn’t worthy of your thoughts, tears, and love. He doesn’t make it easy for you to be disrespectful. He travels often, produces important art, is an outgoing leader, and is passionate about his goals. He has so much on his plate that he doesn’t even have to say it: if you start holding him back by not consistently bringing your 100% A-game to the table, then he’ll have to cut you lose. It isn’t that he doesn’t love you. It’s just that he loves himself, too. How could you not respect a man who knows how to love both you and himself?

I hope you noticed that, aside from the title of this article, the word “player” was never mentioned outside of this paragraph. This article should be called “3 Reasons Why Your Next Boyfriend Needs To Be Awesome”, but that just doesn’t have the same clickbait ring to it.