A Year Ago, I quit Drinking
(Thanks Grandma)
My grandmother, Aline Warner, is my hero — more than David Bowie, Jean-Michel Basquiat and Derek Jeter combined. Like a lot of Grandmas, Nannies and Onas, she’s dedicated her entire life to her family and is one heck of a lady. And without her even knowing it, she has a lot to do with why I decided to start a sober life.
Which makes today kind of special. Not just because a year ago I decided to quit drinking alcohol — but because it’s also my grandmother’s birthday.
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I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with the sauce since my first beer. As a social lubricator, it was at the center of almost every form of entertainment that I indulged in — booze made everything more fun and people more agreeable. And from very early on, I had a sneaking suspicion that I drank too much. I certainly didn’t come anywhere close to hitting a rock bottom before I decided to quit but I know these things for sure: I partied too much, I always had one (or five) more beer than I should have, and I spent way too much of my waking life hungover. So, I decided to stop.
I had this nagging thought that the people who loved me had invested too much to help me succeed, and that I worked too hard to be wasteful with my life.
In 365 days without hangovers, you can get up to lots of things. I’ve had the best year of my adult life. And I feel like I’m just getting warmed up. Here are some of the highlights:
I’ve lost 30 pounds.
The first half came off just from not drinking, the other half has been a result of hard work and self discipline. And I feel fucking great. It’s like I’m 16 again, without the pimples and hourly boners.
I started boxing.
The countless stories of rebirth that litter boxing’s history are not lost on me — it’s probably why I identify with the sport so intensely. And although I’ve loved it since I was a kid, I was always too afraid to put on a pair of gloves myself. Last summer, at the tender age of 32 I walked into a boxing gym for the first time and instantly fell in love. It’s the single healthiest thing that’s ever happened to me, and it’s a big motivator for me to 1) stay sober, and 2) never smoke another cigarette for as long as I live. I’ll happily trade black eyes and broken noses for a healthier liver and set of lungs. Later this year I’ll fight in my first amateur bout.
I released a rock n roll album.
Which is a childhood dream come true. Seriously. Like, whatever happens during the rest of my life is just gravy.
To be fair, this was in the works before I quit drinking but it’s played a huge role in my new life. I grew up admiring musicians who’s stories of drunken adventures had me convinced that rock n roll went hand in hand with being fucked up — particularly as a drummer, some of my biggest heroes literally died from alcohol. Releasing our record and then supporting it with 45 shows in 2015 taught me that I could perform sober (it’s tougher than you might think) and that rock n roll and debauchery, although really good buddies, can live exclusively from one another.
My bandmate Laura — who’s also one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world — was the first person I spoke to about deciding to quit drinking. Without her love and support, I can’t imagine what this last year would have looked like.
I moved into my dream home.
It’s seriously perfect. It even has a detached studio space for me, a mud room for Mascha (my german shepherd) and a wood-burning stove for both of us.
I’ve reconnected with a long-neglected Buddhist practice.
This year marks a decade of me practicing Buddhism, and although it’s an incredibly private part of my life, I thought I’d include it on the list while we’re up here in the ol’ Trust Tree. Being sober has cleared up the time and energy to really commit to my practice. And values that are fundamental to Buddhism are useful in recovery. Patience, compassion and mindfulness become indispensable tools for navigating a sober life.
I’ve grown my design business.
I’m learning to share but also to put my energy into things that are bigger than me, and building a design company is one of them. Quitting drinking has made me a much more effective communicator, increased my sensitivity to my environment, and has probably made me a much better studio partner and collaborator than I would have been otherwise.
I’ve also gained a lot of exciting new business this past year, and have worked alongside a handful of wonderful teams. I’m stoked that they get a better Adam to interact with.
I broke up with a long, long term girlfriend.
I’m not including this because it’s a cause for celebration, but because my once long-term girlfriend is now my life-long best friend. Our relationship has evolved a lot over the 15 years that I’ve known her, but she’s always been a foundation for my personal growth. She is forever supportive, especially during this new adventure.
Her greatest gift to me has always been the ability to see through all the bullshit, down to the best version of myself, and to help me see it too. It’s nice to be reminded that there’s rad little human underneath all of the flaws and self-doubt.
Other things have happened too.
My memory is much better. I’m less irritable (I have friends that would argue against this, but fuck them). I eat better. I have better sleeps. I enjoy friendships for what they are now, not just because they revolve around drinking — I’ve lost friends because of this, but I’ve also gained friends. I’m more present and more mindful. Days seem longer. I’m painfully aware of how bad of a dancer I am. I’m happier. And, I think my dog likes me more.
Everything in my life is better without alcohol.
It wasn’t ruining my life or destroying my relationships. In fact, most of my friends and family are surprised when I open up about drinking too much and deciding to quit. But, abusing alcohol was increasing the gap between who I was, and who I could be. I had this nagging thought that the people who loved me had invested too much to help me succeed, and that I worked too hard to be wasteful with my life.
Above all, I would return to thoughts of my grandmother. The love she is so generous with, and the sacrifices she made to give her family as much opportunity as possible, became too much to ignore.
So a year ago today seemed like the perfect day to celebrate another year in her life by starting a new sober one of my own.
Today, April 29th, 2016, my grandmother turns 98. I feel like I turn 1.
Happy Birthday Grandma.
Adam
Shoot me an email or get in touch on Twitter or Instagram (@adam_analog) if you have any questions, want to chat, or have your own stories you’d like to share.
