Who Would Have Won: Zuck Vs. Musk?

Elon’s mom called it off, allegedly. But what if…?

I figured that due to the response from my Mark Zuckerberg piece that Elon Musk’s challenge to him would get people asking me “Who do you think will win?”

Will Elon Musk fight Mark Zuckerberg? The world thinks it’s possible!

My uncle Barry was the first to ask me about it on whats app. Then a few more people hit me. Then some of my students asked. I have some answers you will like, and other things you probably won’t enjoy. The latest is that Elon’s mom said he can’t do the fight. Ok, so, maybe it’s off, but let’s theorize.

But first let’s look at the tale of the tape:

Mark Zuckerberg

Age: 39

Weight: 154 lbs.

Height: 5 ft. 7

Rank: white belt BJJ

Vs.

Elon Musk

Age: 51

Weight: 187

Height: 6 ft. 1

Rank: white belt in BJJ

It is important to note that the white belt is the beginning of the path of BJJ. However, nobody should expect UFC level fighting. That does not mean that they suck, or that they could not be dangerous. Just keep in mind they are beginners.

Let’s talk about that age gap. At 53 my game is not as crispy as it was at 39. I think I was actually most dangerous at 38/39. That is because alongside the new “man strength” came my maturity of how to be dangerous. The maturity mixed with the power was a great thing. But at 51 I was already feeling slow. But who knows. With TRT, Musk could punch Zuck through the cage.

I saw online that Musk may have Kyokushin Karate and maybe some Tae Kwon Do. Kyokushin is super violent karate that is no joke. It is bare knuckle. Even very elementary Kyokushin fighters can do severe damage with hands and knees. Let’s not underestimate his potential.

As for Mark Zuckerberg, there are a few things we are absolutely sure of.

1. The Zuck has Dave Camarillo for his trainer. Dave is an icon in BJJ and Judo. He trained many of the top champions of the UFC. His students are respected as an army of arm breakers.
2. Elon seems crazy at first. While questioning some of the things he has said and done in the past, I have to applaud this courageous challenge. He does not play to lose. So we have to respect his conviction if he is serious. But we don’t know if he has the fire to fight, let alone fight well.
3. The Zuck will put it on the line to see what he is made of. Love him or hate him, the dudes courageous. If you read my first article on Zuckerberg then you know how seriously I take his willingness to compete (in public against strangers).
4. Elon is calculating and it is possible he has also been training with a high level fighter and coach we know nothing about. There is very little to really assume here. Essentially we have two dark horse guys who are potentially down to fight in a cage.
5. Either of these guys might be hard hitters, but if they have a glass jaw it does not matter. That goes for anybody.

That said, ultimately Elon Musk is bigger and size matters when people clash physically. The other reality is that jiu-jitsu does not make size not matter. It just makes it matter less for the one who knows it. Dave Camarillo, Mark Zuckerbergs coach is about the same size as Mark. Dave has tapped out so many people who have outweighed him (by a lot!). So if Zuck is trying to take out bigger dudes, he has one of the best coaches on earth for that task.

Either may be able to strike well. We just don’t know. I’ve seen short clips of Mark hitting pads. As Bruce Lee noted in Enter the Dragon “boards don’t hit back.” Does he have good footwork? Does he have a solid jab? Does Elon Musk have skills as a southpaw? Is Elon Musk a counterpuncher?

Nobody knows!

BJJ black belt Adisa Banjoko speaking to students at Gracie Barra Roundhay Leeds at his first seminar in the Leeds, UK 2022.

Anyone who tells you they know who will win is a liar. Every real fighter, student of combat arts and coach knows that once the bell rings, nobody really knows what will happen. Not even the fighter themselves. Fear, injuries, mindset, issues beyond the ring that haunt a fighters mind etc.) can change the outcome in a millisecond.

Some people are hyped that billionaires are willing to go to blows. Others hate both and just want to see someone powerful in society lose. A growing number of people in the BJJ community think these situations are like circus acts that undercut the authentic appreciation of the art of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. There is some merit that argument.

However, I remember when hardcore Hip-hop fans thought the popularity of rappers like MC Hammer hurt the integrity of rap music. The truth was the popularity of those songs (while not being the best/worst representation of rap) created sponsorship opportunities, new venture deals for Hammer and many others- all who benefited from his popularity over time.

I think the same is true of BJJ now. In some ways Zuck Vs. Musk is no doubt “jumping the shark” in some ways- if more people learn about BJJ specifically, or, learn to respect/love BJJ, MMA or the traditional marital arts that’s a win. That is a big win in my opinion.

Also, can you imagine the historic numbers the pay per view, merchandise alone will generate? Look, I know martial arts are about way more than money. But sometimes, we can enter a very meaningful thing through a corny pop culture portal. For instance, if I don’t fall in love with Chinese Kung-Fu Cinema, I never get fascinated with Asian culture as a whole. Some might think Kung-Fu movies are a poor entry point for looking deeper into Asian culture. But for me, that is how I went from Bruce Lee to studying Taoism for real. Studying haiku poetry for real.

If this fight is the fight where people come to even see a flicker of the good martial arts can do for people and society- I say let em fight and let’s enjoy the show. But his mom said no.

But who do you think would win? No matter what you think, who do you want to win? Tell me and have a great week.

Adisa Banjoko is a BJJ black belt and an award winning writer, speaker and documentary filmmaker. Adisa has lectured on music, history and philosophy at Harvard, Oberlin, Brown, and many other universities. He is starting the Resilient Men’s Group to help men refine themselves mentally, emotionally and physically. Message him for seminars or lectures.