How we met… (from the recollection of B)

We are not your average couple (nor are we accepted by most, unfortunately). When we go out, (simply to just grab groceries or even to go to the gym) we have people stare at us and look uncomfortable. Why is this? T and I are 26 years apart. No, I’m not a gold digger and he is not taking advantage of me. These are normal judgements / labels that are placed on couples in this type of situation.

I met T at work. I had recently been hired and although I had worked there previously (only part-time though) I never had much interaction with T. At the time — I was in a relationship with a guy (who was 5 years older than me, my folks loved him, but he did not understand me as a person). Anyway I had been in the relationship with this guy for about three years and it had gotten pretty rotten at that time. T was also in a relationship.

T was in charge of the “birthday committee” at work and since I was a new hire I had not paid dues yet for the year. He sent me an email asking if I wanted to be involved and if so I had to pay the dues for the remainder of the year. I said ‘yes’ because I wanted to be a team player at my new job. I went down to his office and paid him the dues and I noticed all of his nerd-like interests (similar to mine). This really got us to start talking.

Every day I looked forward to him walking by my desk at work to see if he got mail or for him to fill his water container across the room. He would stop by my desk and we would talk about how bad the new Star Wars was or … (insert most nerdiest topics here). We began to email and talk in person more and I would visit him for friendly and professional chats in his office.

He was such a gentleman and he didn’t like it when I walked to the parking garage down the hill by myself so occasionally when I drove myself he would ask if I wanted someone to accompany me after work (he also parked that way). I said ‘yes, I would love a walking buddy’. During our walk — we then started talking about our interests and we got talking about different types of beer he enjoyed. I’m a beer nerd and I found a fellow beer nerd... I almost asked him to go get a drink at that moment, but I knew he was in a relationship and I was too. It was wrong so I didn’t… and I didn’t want to make our friendship awkward.

I knew I liked him by that point. Just the way he spoke, laughed, and the way he glided when he walked. His flowing brown hair (with flecks of white) and his beard. His beautiful, large blue eyes. We had similar interests (many actually) and he was just down to earth. He understood me. I knew I was falling for him and I didn’t know if it was right or not because 1) we were both in relationships… 2) he was much older than me… 3) we work together… 4) I don’t want to disappoint my folks with my decision to date an older man. BUT all I can ever think about is how he was (and is) all I have ever wanted in a guy.

I tried to keep my distance because I was unsure of my feelings. Me and my bf at the time were trying to work out some differences and this added a lot of stress on me at that time. It didn’t work out… and long story short, we broke up two days before valentines while he drove me home in rush hour traffic on a Friday after noon. Talk about an awkward breakup. After that incident, all I wanted to do was talk to T. I texted him and we talked the whole night. T broke up a few days later.

T needed to go shopping for work clothes and I offered myself as a “personal shopper for men’s clothing”, I am pretty good with understanding men’s fashion after working in men’s clothing and apparel for four years. We went to JcP and I helped him pick out some clothes. Knowing how much he enjoyed craft beer I had suggested to go to one of my favorite craft beer joints and then go to a liquor store so he can buy some if he liked it. We ate. We both had a beer. I had to be honest with him. I was very happy he was in my life and he had helped so much just being in it — just being my friend and listening to me rant — I was trying to be nonchalant because I did not know where we stood. Alcohol is indeed liquid courage. Let me just say in short we kind of just stated our feelings on the first date. We’ve been dating for six months now and I’ve never regretted making T and B = US.

Age doesn’t mean a thing. All that matters is that you are happy with your significant other. This is the happiest I have ever been and this is the closest I have ever felt to being understood by another human being. Our age difference may make some uncomfortable, but we don’t care… I love T and I’m not ashamed of it or nor am I to show it. We aren’t big into PDA (especially since many people have a problem with us holding hands or making eye contact with each other). Do my parents like this? No. Not at all. I love them, but they won’t understand what T and I have.

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