Why knowing how to build a domestic violence case without a lawyer matters — and why we made a guide about it.

I was going to start this blog by asking you to imagine that you have been abused by the person you trusted the most. That you have been controlled, manipulated, called names, kicked, beaten and humiliated. That you fear for your life and the lives of your children. Yet, nobody believes you — your family defends your abuser and undermines your story. When you gather the strength, and the resources to take legal action and claim your right to be safe, happy, and free from abuse, instead of a helping hand you encounter suspicion, doubt, and even blame. No one will take your case, because you can’t provide cold, hard evidence of your abuse. Nobody is there to help you.

I was going to ask you to imagine all that, but I won’t. I am not a victim or survivor of domestic violence. But through my work on Chayn’s “How To Build Your Own Domestic Violence Case Without a Lawyer” guide I have had the opportunity to hear the voices of many strong women and their stories of abuse. These accounts made me realize that the duress, psychological strain, and often crippling loneliness of being an abuse survivor fighting to have your rights respected is utterly incomprehensible to those who have not experienced it firsthand.

The UK government is currently implementing a legal system reform plan, which stipulates, among other things, a reduction in legal aid work payments. Although widely criticised and legally challenged, the reforms are moving forward. The legal aid cuts have already led to an increase in litigation-in-person, which means that more domestic violence victims are left on their own and forced to face their abuser in court. This is particularly disturbing given the fact that, according to The Independent’s Paul Gallagher and Simon Lennon, “two women are killed each week by current or former partner, and 500 recent victims of domestic violence commit suicide every year”. In the U.S., the Department of Justice’s Special Report states that in 2005, 1,181 women and 329 men were killed by intimate partners, yet “only 27 percent of women and 13.5 percent of men who were physically assaulted by an intimate partner reported their assault to law enforcement.”

Reporting domestic abuse is often made difficult to victims around the world. Amnesty International reports that in Nigeria perpetrators can buy themselves immunity, while victims are often asked humiliating and intimidating questions. Human Rights Watch draws attention to the barriers domestic violence victims face in Kyrgyzstan, and the state’s failure to react to their complaints. In Pakistan and many other countries, domestic violence and forced marriage go unopposed because of the myths surrounding domestic abuse and the society’s unwillingness to react. Furthermore, the groups most exposed to domestic abuse are often the most vulnerable, making it hard for them to seek help. Research shows that refugee women can be particularly vulnerable to domestic violence and that abuse often follows women to refugee camps. Marginalised groups, such as Native American women in the U.S. also often suffer disproportionately from domestic abuse.

Here’s why we at Chayn needed to create the guide, and why the guide hit the bullseye for survivors and victims alike:

1. Legal systems are a maze. Not everyone can afford a lawyer. But even those who can often find the legal procedures and jargon intimidating and discouraging.

Domestic violence support groups on social media are inundated daily with requests for advice on legal matters, or simply encouragement before the “day in the court”. Making a case against one’s abuser — whether it is to get or keep full custody of children, get a restraining order, or a divorce — is a difficult task. The guide explains, step by step and in simple, accessible language, how to build your case and claim your rights.

2. When you’re a domestic violence victim/survivor people will, more likely than not, doubt and question your story.

That is why evidence is KEY. Advice on collecting, storing, and presenting evidence is the central part of the guide. Things that sometimes seem irrelevant to victims, or survivors, may actually be key in building their case. Moreover, since abuse often doesn’t stop after leaving, there are many ways to collect evidence after escaping the abusive relationship.

The health and safety of the victim/survivor always comes first. While it might be tempting to gather as much evidence as one possibly can, it is also important to know your limits and to know HOW to gather and store the evidence in a way that does not put one at risk.

The guide also provides advice on how to write timelines and statements often required by courts, and how to organise evidence to present one’s story in a clear and concise way, which (unfortunately and ironically) judges can find easier to sympathise with.

3. Everybody needs support and encouragement.

The need to have someone say: “You can do this! You are not alone” is an overwhelming and utterly human one. Leaving an abusive relationship is often a difficult decision and requires amazing strength and courage. This makes trying to get justice, and being faced with the complexities of a legal system all the more challenging and scary. The guide reminds its users at every step of the way that they are strong, capable, and have what it takes to accomplish their goal.

Building the guide has been the collective effort of volunteers with expertise in fields ranging from women’s rights and psychological counseling, to law and social work. By consulting numerous NGOs and charities that deal with domestic violence, and domestic violence survivors themselves, we made sure that the guide accurately reflects the experience of abuse, and responds to the needs of the women who need it desperately. We didn’t just build the guide for victims of abuse, we listened to their needs and created it with them.

We plan regional outreach to ensure that while it was created as a universal tool for abuse survivors worldwide, it reflects national and local contexts and legal practices. As any truly responsive tool, it is forever a work in progress. But it is already an important resource that anyone can share and use. So if you know someone who could use the advice in the guide — share it!

To make the guide even more accessible, we created a GIF to condense its comprehensive content:

If you are a social or charity worker, or a lawyer working with domestic abuse — please reach out to us at team@chayn.co.