Reciprocity or Authority? What is more effective?

“Tsze-Kung asked, ‘Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life?’ The Master said, ‘Is not Reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” -Confucius

In one of my previous posts, I described Dr. Robert Cialdini’s 6 principles of persuasion and how they can be used. Now I’ll write about the situation which I faced yesterday and which included usage of two of them.

It is a well-known fact that elder people has a power of authority, especially in our culture, despite the fact that Kazakhs are nomadic nationality. So, in each family, there also exists so called parental authority. Yesterday, when I asked my mom to let me go to “Medeu”(ice-skating area) with my friends she said that I have to prepare for my final exams, etc etc. Our fathers and mothers are commissioned by society to bring up future citizens of our country. Their parental power, their authority in the eyes of their children, is based on this. Thus, initially, I thought I couldn’t do anything except of begging. However, even though here we see an example of authority, I could use other influence source. What I did, is that I woke up early in the morning, made a breakfast with her favorite fresh juice and pancakes, then I cleaned up the house, while she went somewhere, I gave a bath to my siblings and prepared a lunch. So, when my mom arrived, her mood was very good, and I guess, she felt indebted, even though all of that was my obligation, and let me go for a few hours. Even that was sufficient to me, cause I was able to influence her decision, without any conflict.

So, this is a clear example of how to use reciprocation to overcome authority. Consequently, in some situation, some principles can be more powerful and effective.