It sounds like you have been through a lot. Thanks for sharing. I, too, had to struggle with my identity, and I still struggle with it, just not as much as I did before I transitioned.

Here is my story:

You wrote a bit on your dreams. I love talking about dreams. I remember dreaming I became a girl, then an alien monster, then a scarecrow, and finally an aged creature with brittle bones. Yikes! Most of the time, my body remains ambiguous, even though everything else is highly detailed and identifiable. I am a spectator or an observer most of the time looking through the eyes of another.