25 and Fine…

I am twenty-five and fine, 
My mama is my grandma’s favorite daughter, 
Papa is still guided by the silliness of youth, 
Sister Juli is marrying the pastor’s wife
And Brother E has joined the resistance

I am twenty-five and fine, 
A creature of want, 
god is money
money is god.

I am 25 and fine, 
Mama says i was there when her hymen broke,
Papa looks at mama the way he looks at beer.
She is all he has ever needed
He whispers I want you and off they come.

Sister Juli was reconciliation, 
Brother E was affirmation.
i was born of passion
a forbidden fruit
Papa a drunkard, 
Mama at the doorsteps of a convent
god was robbed

I am 25 and fine
with lovers like vines
i smell of want and need
papa, the gift that keeps giving
mamas offspring, I smell of sin

Wafula calls me every night, 
‘i am building an empire, 
come.’
His voice reminds me of my brothers moans 
E, young and old
torn by a war he shouldn’t have had to fight in.

I am 25 and worn

I am 52 and odd,
Mama is dead,
so is papa,
and E

I am 52 and old, 
26 suicide attempts to my name
viced out

Rehema, Kizito, Kwani and Hawa.
four echoes that should have been silenced.

What has the owl brought you? 
grief?
death?
magic?

I drunk jik once,
no relief there
treats.

Sister Juli’s wife died yesterday,
I didn’t attend the funeral

I am 76 and grown
Surrounded by coffins, 
Dreaming of 6ft holes and darkness.

Full credit goes to my friend Eurus. 
We’ve had numerous conversations about many of the topics she writes about but not this one. It’s deeply moving in the same way you find yourself staring at a mental mirror through an author’s words.