Fuck You Startup World
Shem Magnezi

No, no ‘fuck you’ to you, you awesome Startup World!

That’s right, I said this too.

So this particular blog post has been viral since morning. It reads out ‘Fuck you, Startup World’.

This’s the piece: https://medium.com/@shemag8/fuck-you-startup-world-ab6cc72fad0e#.dtflxcebw

Using ‘fuck you’ makes you edgy, of course, I would know it because I belong to the same clan — however, edgy ain’t always cool. Thanks to good friend Yati, who shared this a few hours back. Because everything is wrong with it. No, no fuck you to you, you awesome startup world!

And I have my reasons. So wrote a nice little point to point response to this gentleman who probably ain’t as fortunate as some/many of us.

To begin with, this guy probably forgot that the biggest companies by market cap today are all technology companies: Apple, Google, Amazon, Facebook, Microsoft. This is real money that the world trades on, economies revolve around. Only the beginning. Not even starting to talk about the Fortune100, how they got there, how much ‘tech’ they mention in the annual reports these days, the hedge funds who are betting on technology to take them to the next frontier, the behemoths who are trying hard to diversify, and entire countries who are now trying to outdo each other on this one super important aspect that touches everything. Well, well, well. Anyway, here’s the point to point:

1. The 30-min (stretched to over an hour to some of us) routine of reading TechCrunch, ProductHunt, Wired, Mashable, doesn’t make anyone feel ‘left out’ — but pushes them to the centre of what’s happening ‘right now’ — so that they can jump on opportunities, ideate some more, think in leaps, and thus create a better world for the next generation by impacting millions at large.

2. Zuck’s live townhall which will let me talk to my family as if they are right here — very cool and of course I care. Uber raising another round and growing more — brilliant, so thankful to them, my Dad uses it all the time now and loves it. Elon Musk’s latest tweet — oh well, if you can;t get your head around the simulation theory, just the thought of someone attempting the Mars mission, or how solar would make the world a better place — no words for you man.

3. Contrary to belief, some people do really love their 70,80, 100 hour weeks — why — because they are not ‘work weeks’ anymore — if you are high on tech, it’s fucking life. Yea, you got the f-word there, is this getting edgy enough?

4. There are people who work like crazy and reading, talking, eating, sleeping ‘this tech startup world’ does get them where they are — they don’t need to be another Musk or Zuck — they can be themselves and create a crazy enough impact. Pick any of the top founders in the Valley, there are again many who come from this race. Closer back home in India, we have Vijay Shekhar Sharma who’s not just built a billions of dollars’ worth tech company, but is also changing the world by changing the behaviour of what is perhaps the largest cash economy in the world.

5. The thrill that getting to a milestone gives, can’t be understood by everyone — so don’t blame you here man. And when you work towards something like this in your life, you got to celebrate it big. There is no ‘drinking culture’ — but yea, there is definitely a ‘work hard and play hard’ culture — and I am sure everyone in the space is super fucking proud of it! There, said it again.

6. No, you don’t fuck open floor plans — you appreciate them, and thank tech for bringing them in. Thank God for tech, and tech shops, that we’re also far more aware about our health now. Those standing desks, those walk-through workspaces, the exercise ball-desk — well, guess what, they all make for a far more fit, far more productive, and a far happy employee. That’s how you create a new normal — but hey, totally get it you not getting it — probably would’ve been easier had you given a few less fucks.

7. You can’t read a whole lot of books if you are working crazy, that’s about right — and that’s why dear Sir — you ‘fuckin give references’ and use existing social networks like Facebook, Twitter, Medium and the like to do that — so that everyone learns, grows, and builds faster. Oh by the way, you also used Medium to publish you rant — oh oh, wonder why man, fuck.

8. The two biggest companies in this world were born out of garages — haha, so what the fuck are we even talking about here — look around, open your eyes, and take a sip of water. Relax. Now welcome to ‘the world’.

9. People who become ‘entrepreneurs’ and ‘create something’ have balls, they falls and get back up, over and over again. Not sure how else could you read this tribe. There is no other way too. So no, never a ‘fuck you’ to entrepreneurs, because you wouldn’t have existed the way you do without them.

10. Every few decades, come tools, that make your life shit better. Some adopt them, and steer head. Others, rant. So yea, this one is cool too. Glad the world at large is much smarter now. How fucking awesome is that, ain’t it?

11. Everyone loves a good story, and the content could come in a hundred forms — a book, a show on television, Netflix, a real conversation — doesn’t fucking matter my man — because everyone is a sucker for good stories, they help you relax better, set you up for the next gig, and also make you pretty happy — but hey, you can not do all of that and just rant — that could be cool too, you would know, right?

12. Daily Active Users, Average Revenue Per User, Lifetime Value, Cost Per Impression, Pay Per Click, Year on Year — you got to be really kidding to have grown up and not be knowing this shit, this ain’t about startups, it’s about building a fucking business. But hey, I guess you haven’t tried anything even remotely close — and are just plain ranting? That’s funny. Wait — that’s fuck funny!

13. Best thing about startups is the fact they keep reinventing, sometimes pivot, sometimes sprint up to run much faster than any ‘so called normal company’ that you talk about would — that’s how you build beautiful companies without taking a hundred years — oh well well, but again, you still come to the same startup websites/apps to do your shit, the ones you are ranting against, and don’t fo those ‘normal companies’ that you love. Ironical, eh?

14. You for sure haven’t worked in cool companies, or would’ve known the crazy energy that everyone there is fucking wired to. How some of the best cross-functional bonding happens on the ping-ping table, or the incentives that gives sales folks the adrenaline rush they so desire, or the ‘moment of joy’ everyone collectively feels about building stuff that will impact so many out there! Fuck any other bullshit, what a crazy fucking feeling that is!

PS: Intentional use of some dozen fucks, to drive home the point that the edgy piece this is referenced to.

More than all, what a fucking crazy time we live in. Thankful.