A lot of people have a bad take on stoicism. They think Stoics are passionless, emotionless drones that are entirely incapable of feeling love.
“I shall show you a love potion without a drug, without a herb; without the incantation of any sorceress: if you want to be loved, love.” ( Seneca letters 9.6).
Remember, both Marcus Aurelius and Seneca were married men, as well as Cicero and Cato, and some of them expressed love to their wives through their writings.
Now, Epictetus mentions an important factor, “Only the wise can appreciate and truly love.”
Now, this statement might offend some people, but to quote him:
“The person who knows what is good is also the person who knows how to love. But if someone is incapable of distinguishing good things from bad and neutral things from either — well, how could such a person be capable of love? The power to love, then, belongs only to the wise man.” [ Discourses 2.22].
Stoics approach love through a philosophical lens and with awareness.
What do I mean by this?
In some cases, people in love can make the wrong decisions or have bad judgment that produces bad consequences.
You cannot let the love for a person become your master.
