It is hard to make the case that most people are fascinating without demonstrating the point with their stories. But because my certainty in this belief was acquired in the context of teaching a class on how to earn a living as a writer, I know it is less my…


Greetings pilgrim, welcome to my first blog post in several fortnights. It is days like this when I see that the date of my last blog post here was nearly two months ago that I want to send one of the deluxe Edible Arrangements to people who manage to actually…


“This is a blog dedicated to the five boys who ruined my life,” is a Tumblr tagline I read in the spring of 2013. If it weren’t already taken, I would’ve used it for the title of this essay. The tone and inflection of the 22-year-old wordsmith behind the turn…


Happy Easter! Happy Day After Harry Styles Performed on SNL! I love Easter because of things like the moment I experienced below when I ran to the beach at dawn. I dislike Easter because people still find it clever to make fun of the most holy day in a world…


So it was cool when galleys went out and the occasional friend sent me a photo of themselves with my book. But I have to say, that now that hardcovers have shipped and actual fans I don’t know (or who I do know but bought it anyway! do that HERE


The story of my first tattoo has audio visual elements and so if you aren’t ready for that journey, I suggest Xing out now. …


Illustration by Carly Jean Andrews

Resolutions are underrated. Here are 8 for people who really need them

As another year begins, it’s time for yet another celebration of the time-honored American ritual of The Great Setup for Failure known as making New Year’s Resolutions. You have likely already been treated to a slew of content naysaying these resolutions, written under the guise of self-forgiveness, wisdom and practicality…


Tweet round-ups are like that day-after-the-party phone call with your aunt where she repeats the jokes she heard that night before. Media loves them because we are lazy fuckers who prefer tweeting to reporting. You could have three Pulitzers at home and your high school classmates are still most likely…


2016 was a banner year for comeback kids and unlikely breakout stars alike: Kermit the Frog reemerged as a meme favorite, an elderly dysprosody sufferer who used to play the meanest HR guy on reality TV show The Recruit became the president-elect, and the heretofore pariahs of the flame world…


My writing output in 2016 was smaller than in 2015, largely because I spent 2015 writing at an unsustainable volume and with far more writing obligations than I had in 2016. I was afraid at first of putting this list together because I feared that I’d produced so little worth…

Alana Massey

I’m sorry I wrote my feelings all over your internet.

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