Calamine Won’t Help: A Melancholy Collection

By Albert Alvarado

Art by an.idler — A reimagining of a picture inspired by poem IV — The One Left.

These are just a few of the poems I have written. Not the most cheerful stuff, but that is due to the state I was in during their creation.

I — A Brief Word

I have a soul

And as simple as it was before

I find great delight

In the joy and sadness it has brought

I find it odd

How people would wish sorrow to be fleeting

Or non-existing

I instead hold it close

And see beauty within it


II — Recluse

At times I spit out venom

Calling out their seclusion

Naming them as a recluse

Hoping them to come

To be the ones to wander

Perhaps it’s all a trap

For the actual truth of it all

I am the recluse

Being the one in wait

In the safety of my abode

For one to wrap tightly

And whose essence I’ll absorb

Leaving only remnants

Of who they are with me

As I sit on my web

In wait alone again


III — The Animatronic

I think they have won

I believe I’ve been taken

The talons in my mind

Have grasped and dragged me

Down to the abyss

Of what once was my soul

Muting

Raping

Holding down my expressions

Of what I think and what I need

All a lost cause

In a sea of corpses

Where once fireflies and ideas

Glimmered and sparkled

The poison from the talons

Now paralyzing and stopping me

My body now a husk

Holding in the darkness

With pain escaping only in tears

Worry not

For you will still hear me laugh

And will still see me smile

I have programmed myself this way

Set before I was engulfed

Before I drowned

As to not worry others

Of the nobody inside


IV —The One Left

I’m without the love of sunlight

Pushed from the kingdom

Now I lay tattered and exposed

Holding what’s left of hope

Which had brought me here

What shall become of me?

No room for complacency

Self doubt or of pity

As I gather my pieces

And in the darkness

Heal myself with moonlight


V — The Sun & Moon

You were the sun

The sun to this earth, this world

And I, I was its moon

Your warmth sprang life to it

Too intense, you would destroy it

I kept watch in its coldest moments

And sheltered it from the outside

In the sway of my motions

I would have its tides rise and fall

Though we could never be close

It would be a sight at dawn and dusk

To see us two together

So far from one another

Yet bringing balance to our world

A red giant, supernova, black hole

Is what may occur

While I get battered and scarred

I may fall into pieces

But I’ll stay close to this earth

And not be afraid of the dark

For I am the moon

And you were once my sun


VI — Lucifer

I am that horrid creature

Which is cast aside

Left wondering

As others continue

Offering no solace

No resolve of the matter

How can one stop the noise

The scenarios swirling

Racing through

As the others

Unsympathetic

Say nothing

Do nothing

I am Lucifer

I hold the light

But in such affairs

I only bring darkness


VII — This Tainted Boy

I have yet to truly feel it

The warm glow of love

Which I know isn’t just a fairy tale

I’ve witnessed that light

I thought I’d been bathed in it

Sadly, misleading

Yet I’ve seen it shine on others

But I still feel new

Although I am fading

Ever since I stunted myself

When I was seven years old

That’s when the babysitter

Took me into the closet

Where she touched and kissed me

Then also my uncle

Did the same within darkness

Confused and scared of it all

I wouldn’t allow anyone to touch me

I couldn’t let anyone to like me

Was that intimacy?

It seems so

Cruelty, selfishness masked as affection

But I’ve allowed it

So I’ve been deceived

Lied to

Cheated on

My emotions and tears attacked

As though my sadness meant nothing

Do they not understand?

Not realize?

That it is a reaction

To what you, you, and YOU’VE done

And how the world lacks empathy

I’m a late bloomer

Or so it is said

Yet now I’m in a state of decay

This is not out of ego

For I’ve died many times

Just a simple temple

Made of paper mâché

So now I just surround myself

With heroes and monsters

Much like in the past

An illusion always in question

So throw your stones all you want

Tear into this paper palace

The holes will only bring in light

And I’ll still be here

For it appears like it’s all a game

And paper beats rock

Just like so long ago

When I was seven years old


Also If you liked the pic then check out more of an.idler’s art on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/an.idler/