6 Things You Need to Know Is Someone You Love Is Diagnosed with Cancer
When someone you love is faced with something as unpredictable and unfamiliar as a cancer diagnosis, they may feel like their whole world is falling apart. You might wonder, what can you do, what can you say, what can be your role in all of this?
How can you support them through a rough time like this, and how can you support yourself? This is a really hard situation for everyone, so here are a couple of things you need to remember while you are going through this with someone you love.
In Many Cases the Best Thing You Can Do Is Just Listen
Someone who got diagnosed with cancer has a deeper understanding of what they are going through than you. And they do not expect you to know exactly how they feel, together with giving them unsolicited advice or constant showering with positive messages. In many cases all they need from you is to listen to them, because being a listener is more helpful and meaningful than everything else you can do.
Forget About Everything You Know About Cancer Fighting
There is no such thing as two similar cancer experiences, and while one person’s story may be something that can get you and your loved one through the day, the chances are that your loved one won’t feel the same way. You can read all the information available out there, but in reality, cancer is a very unpredictable disease and you can never be sure what to expect.
Give Them Encouragement, Not Advice
Your loved one already has a doctor that they trust and they count on them for advice about their condition. This means that they do not expect that kind of support from you. Since their relationship with their doctor is probably all business, they want their relationship with you to be the exact opposite. By simply saying everything will be alright, we will get through this before their doctor’s appointment may be the right thing they need from you.
People Who Are Diagnosed With Cancer Love to Talk About Other Things
Yes, here will be a lot of times when your loved one will want to talk about what they are going through, but you shouldn’t be surprised if those times seem few and far between. People who are battling with cancer do not want to bring up cancer in every conversation they have with people and that includes you.
Often they will want to talk about the things both of you like, like the latest book you read or the latest show you’ve watched. So, go with it and save that cancer talk for the next doctor’s appointment.
You need to keep in mind that you are not the only one facing this reality, because your loved one also does not have a clue how to handle it most of the time. The chances are good that they will get frustrated, and so will you. This is why you need to be patient, and if you feel like you need to take several deep breaths, do so.
Caring for someone who is diagnosed with cancer is a journey filled with dead ends and unpredictable twists. The worst part is that it does not gets easier, but there is a chance that you will be able to get into a certain rhythm and make everything more bearable.
Under All That Pain, There Is Still a Person
There is a person under all of that pain, and it is not even just a person, this is a person you love. Undergoing treatment and the cancer itself will change them on the outside, and in some cases you won’t be able to recognize them, but remember, they are still there. They are the same person you have feel in love with, so look past the physical changes.
If you are experiencing difficulties in coping with all of this, you can always reach out to professionals for advice, because they already know how this disease works and what can be done for a person that is going through all of this.
Above all, you need to remember to give yourself time to take things one moment at a time and slow down. Because no matter what happens, you and your loved one will make it through this.