Reflect, Acknowledge, Accept & Move On
A model for dealing with adversity (i.e.; shit).
Shit happens in life. It always does.

We use planning, we use diaries, we learn time management skills & all sorts of other crap to try to smooth out the rough / jagged spikes we experience throughout life, in a bid to have more “control”, “stability” or “certainty” in our lives.
Whilst this is a somewhat noble endeavor, it makes us all the more susceptible to those inevitable bumps in the road — that we will experience.
Let me explain.
Planning out & developing a model for a smooth life is much like building a house with central heating & hot water, that runs on electricity.
It’s an AMAZING feat of human foresight & intelligence.
It definitely helps, it’s 100% useful, it makes our lives easier, more comfortable & more stable…
BUT…
When the electricity goes out, when the heater breaks, when the hot water pipe bursts — you’re fucked.
You’re going to freeze…and in some cases, if its really damn cold, you’ll probably freeze to death.
We, much like society, have built crutches to help normalize our lives & smooth out the rough edges, although in the process, we’ve weakened our own internal coping mechanisms. We’ve become weaker by the very dependence upon these technologies / systems / models.
Wim Hoff (the ice man) is a brilliant example of someone who lives the opposite of this principle (albeit to quiet an extreme level when compared with the rest of us).

His entire thesis works on the premise that you strengthen your immune system and command a level of control over your autonomic nervous system via the repeated exposure of your physical body to extreme cold. (There are other factors here, i.e.; oxygenation, the Wim Hoff breathing technique, etc — but I won’t go into that here).
One of his major arguments is the “crutch argument”, which although science is still exploring, we have been able to deduce real evidence to support it, such as the random development of “brown fat” via the exposure to extreme conditions (i.e.; cold).
What Wim Hoff is saying is:
When you build strength internally, you do not depend upon an external crutch to support you. You can stand on your own two feet.
It’s the SAME in life (in general).
We plan, we manage, we diaries, we systemize, we do all this shit to avoid “surpirses” so that we can create a certain, predictable future, that when shit does hit the fan, we lose our minds & spiral out of control, fall into depression, lash out in fits of rage, etc, etc.
We lose our very ability to cope with change.
News flash for you ladies & gentlemen: Surprises & Problems are here to stay!
As Norman Vincent Peale said:

So if you’re in the mood to be alive, then I suggest you begin to embrace this concept, and I suggest you begin to build both an anticipation for things not going to plan, and a resilience when dealing with it.
So..lets look at the model (inspired a friend of mine..you know who you are)
a) Shit Happens
Yep. Something just hit you from left of field. You didn’t see it coming. It fucked up your entire plan. Ouch…
b) Reflect.
Take stock. Before you lose your shit, take a moment to assess what’s happened. A few questions you can ask to direct your focus could include: What does this really mean? what would this mean 5 or 10yrs from now? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s good about this? How can I use this? What can I learn? What did I fuck up? What role did I play in this?
3) Acknowledge.
This is part two; where you take what you just reflected on, the questions you had some answers to, and acknowledge which of them are most useful / empowering / substantive.
You’ll need have the courage to acknowledge what actually happened, and most importantly what role you really did have to play in it. From there:
4) Accept
Now it’s time to take some responsibility. This isn’t about blame, or feeling sorry for yourself. It’s about owning your decisions in life. Once you’ve acknowledged wtf happened, it’s time you either (a) accept what happened, or (b) accept that it did happen, you can’t change that, but you make damn sure it doesn’t happen again & that you’re on top next time.
Acceptance isn’t about bending over. It’s got nothing to do with giving up, with losing, or with winning for that matter. Acceptance is a thing between you and you. It’s got nothing to do with the event.
It’s the step which frees you from your own schackles, and allows you to do the most important & final step of all:
5) Move the F%$# on.
This can come in many forms. You may have had your options or your freedoms, or your limbs or whatever limited, diminished, cut off or obstructed.
It’s painful, it’s thrown a spanner in the works, but now — you MUST focus on what you do have left & move on with that.
If you do not move on, the problem has won. You move into victim terriorty. You lose the right you have to choose what happens next, or at least to influence it. You lose the very thing that makes you human — even though at times it just seems like a futile battle with randomness.
It doesn’t fucking matter. That desire to live, that urge to go on, that step by step process of moving forward is what will separate you from those who give up & spend the rest of their lives blaming others & victimizing themselves.
Fuck that.
So that’s my Monday rant…
Kudos
Headline given to me, and thus content inspired by “Chantelle De La Rey” who is an amazing graphic designer & marketer that you can get in contact with at:
Thankyou
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