Leadership…that rare ass skill..
Attempting to bypass some of the cliche bullshit in this excerpt from a discussion with the leaders in our team…
The ability to encourage, enable & inspire those around us to be better than us.
To nurture them into becoming the best version of themselves is the mark of a true leader.
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If someone is your peer, and they are struggling or underperforming, your goal should be to help them become better. To help them to learn, grow, adapt & expand as an individual.
Not for some Machiavellian “gain” — but for the sake of contributing / giving from yourself.
I know it sounds fluffy, but we’re not in the business of building a culture of self servient fuckers who lead by logic.
Inspiration, honour, contribution, care — none of these come from the realm of logic, reason or rationale.
Logic dictates that we can & should fail.
Our ambition, vision, desires & ultimately our cohesion will hopefully prove the opposite.
It’s because no great feat was ever accomplished through sheer logic or reason. Reason & logic are deductive by nature & they’re about proof and tangibility.
Creating something new, in essence comes from faith, the Unknown, creativity & optimism.
We have those ingredients, of course, or we wouldn’t be here right now. Where we need to unlock these same facets of ourselves is in our interpersonal relationships.
There is no right or wrong way of being.
There is ONLY context.
We’re all introverts, extroverts, blue, green, red, INTJ and every other fucked up abbreviation of a model you can find.
The problem lies in the fact that we choose to identify with one or two, and dismiss the others as “not me”.
And therein lies the fallacy, and with this fallacy comes the limitations in our lives.
The ability to draw upon different parts of you in different contexts & for different reasons is the game of life.
In a room burning down in flames, you’re not going to get the best result being in touch with green, sensitive, touchy-feely side of yourself! You go into fucking Red, or D, or Alpha or whatever you call it & you make shit happen. You get the fuck outta there! Simple.
My goal is to train you guys into becoming the best leaders you can be. That comes from being the best communicators and from developing empathy; which in turn comes from appreciating and being able to access THOSE parts of you which up until now have been denied, locked away, hidden, ignored or diminished.
It’s ALL YOU.
You’re all of them. You’ve just been reinforced your entire life to be a certain way. You’ve been rewarded for a particular part of your nature & have thus decided (unconsciously mind you) to adopt this as your identity.
Once it’s your identity, it’s very hard for you to come out of the habits you’re now trained for, and it’s difficult to learn, evolve and adapt to other methodologies, thought patterns, belief systems & modalities because you’re wearing the same old glasses.
As a leader, your role is to first truly and AUTHENTICALLY empathise with the person, by taking off your fucking glasses & trying to wear theirs — then you can communicate in THEIR language / register / modality.
It’s fucking simple — but I’ll tell u what — it’s not easy.
It takes time, patience, care, faith & all of that fluffy shit that’s not logical, nor is it tangible.
You can only develop that by training yourself. By getting outside of yourself. By spending time with people who have the behavioural flexibility to try new things, to explore other parts of themselves & to be genuinely curios about this lifelong topic.
These are the marks of a true leader & by truly going outside of your comfort zone, pushing beyond what you would consider inside your realm of influence, comfort & understanding, will you then grow & develop as a person.
That’s what my goal as a leader is…