D&K’s Wedding

Went to D & K’s wedding last night. Here are some personal highlights:

  1. I was making conversation in the backseat of our carpool. “Cocktail hour will start at 6 pm. That’s an interesting word, ‘cocktail’”, I muse. “I wonder where that term comes from.” We look it up and it turns out, the origin story of the word ‘cocktail’ is somewhat contentious. One theory states that the alcoholic drink used to be served in an egg cup called ‘coquetier’. Another states that the term refers to the mixed nature of the drink, inspired by the cock shaped tail of a mixed breed horse. By far our most favourite explanation was one that involved cock fights. The story goes that after a cock fight, the winning cock receives a toast in its honor by a drink with the same number of ingredients as the number of feathers remaining in the winning cock’s tail. “Wouldn’t it be great to open cocktail hour with a cock fight!” I exclaim. I add it to my growing list of ideas for my future wedding. My friend informs me that unfortunately, cock fights are illegal. This problem can be circumvented however, by having the wedding on international waters. We would need a boat and the food situation would be complicated, as I had previously decided I want a potluck wedding. Potato salad may turn sour by the time we reach international waters, my friend points out. A simpler solution, we decided, was to have humans dressed as cocks for a human cockfight. This explains the rest of our evening, wherein our group of friends practice our cock fight, which primarily involved staring each other down and jutting our necks back and forth while rotating our shoulders in and out and tracing one knee around a vertical circle. I cock fight the groom on the dance floor, which was amazing not only because it was a good fight, but because up to this point, we had barely interacted that day and he had no context as to why we were cock fighting. We shouted “Cock Fight!!” and he just went with it.
  2. One thing I don’t like about weddings is how the DJ never looks like he’s having a good time. From a purely visual perspective, he could be filing someone’s taxes or watching a pot boil. This is why I am hiring Steve Aoki for my wedding. When was the last time you saw a wedding DJ waterfall alcohol down guests’ throats? A. and I had fun pretending to be Steve Aoki on the dance floor, which basically involved a lot of hand pumping and turning our backs to each other with our arms raised, for dramatic effect. I don’t know what did it, our cock fights or our Steve Aoki, but we got a smile out of the DJ by the end of the night.
  3. My favourite part of any wedding is in the last moments. Most of the crowd has cleared, the dance floor is almost empty, but the music is still pumping. The bride and groom are absolutely exhausted, drunk, and blissfully happy. Finally able to let their hair down, they dance without a care in the world. The bride declares I’m the absolute best! I believe her, even though she isn’t really fully conscious at this point. Grand gestures and sweeping emotions, isn’t that what weddings are all about?