Lessons Learned From 36 Days Alone in Europe
’Til you own your own you can’t be free. ’Til you’re on your own you can’t be me. -Jay Z
Backstory
Ever since I visited the UK with my mom and brother back when I was 12, I always knew that I wanted to return to backpack Europe. Since double majoring forced me to follow a rigid academic schedule, studying abroad was never an option. My plan was to take a month off after I graduated college in December to travel, but by mid-November that no longer appeared to be an option. My top job offer at the time had a non-negotiable start date of January 16th, which wouldn’t leave me enough time. Then the day before Thanksgiving, everything changed when I received a call from Intuit notifying me that I had received a full-time offer at the headquarters out in Mountain View. What made the offer even sweeter was that I had the option to start on March 27th. Suddenly, my backpacking dream was back on.
Despite having wanted to do this for a while, when it came time to actually make the leap, I found myself getting cold feet. A few arguments with my concerned parents regarding the safety of my trip didn’t make the process any easier. Luckily I have a few good friends who had done this before, and they were able to motivate me to take action. So when January 16th rolled around, I wasn’t sitting at a desk inside an office building; instead, I was boarding a plane to Paris by myself with a return ticket for 36 days later.
Here are just a few of the awesome lessons I learned during those 36 days in Europe.
Lesson 1: I’m even more independent than I thought (& so are you)
I’ve always considered myself an independent person, but I was unaware of just how independent I was until after my trip to Europe. Part of the reason I never felt truly independent was because for the majority of my life I was constantly surrounded by people close to me. I have two great parents, a younger brother (who is also my best friend) and plenty of amazing friends. Attending an in-state University meant that aside from summer internships, I was never too far from those I cared about the most.
Europe was a completely different story. I had no one I could rely on besides myself. It was up to me to make plans, entertain myself and make sure that I stayed safe. Furthermore, when you travel alone on another continent, every person you interact with involves a cold intro. This means that you figure out who you are in real time. We don’t realize it, but we are greatly influenced by those closest to us, to the point that those people almost become a part of us after a while. When those people aren’t around, you figure out who you are as an individual. In my case, it made me realize that I had certain talents, traits and opinions that I didn’t realize were there before.
Lesson 2: Not Having a Plan Works…Until It Doesn’t
One of the things that really excited me about my trip was that it was largely unplanned. I bought my flight 19 days before I left, and aside from the first 3 nights in Paris I had booked nothing else in advance. I did take the time to map out the countries/cities I wanted to visit, but that was mainly just to appease my parents.
I thought not planning would make for a better adventure, but often times it did just the opposite. I would sometimes arrive in new cities and waste time researching on the internet the best activities and places in the area. The more serious problem was finding places to stay. For instance, my lack of planning backfired on me in Amsterdam when I realized at 2 am in the bar that I had forgotten to book a place to stay for the city I was traveling to the next day. If you’ve never tried booking a hostel room while drunk in an Amsterdam McDonald’s with spotty wifi, I’ll just spare you the experience and let you know that it’s a terrible spot to be in.
Of course not planning did lead to some awesome chance encounters and unforgettable experiences, but I learned that you should at least have a scheduled framework with which to build off of. For instance, you should try to book out where you are staying at least a week in advance and have a list of places to see/things to do in case you don’t meet anyone else with cool ideas. For the record, I booked the remaining 18 nights of my trip the day after my experience in Amsterdam.
Lesson 3: Material Possessions are Overrated
I own too much sh*t. Again, this wasn’t something I fully comprehended until after my trip. When I first ordered my Osprey backpack, my initial thought was that there was no way I could live out of it for over a month. By the end of the trip, I felt that I actually had too much stuff with me. It’s amazing how many material items I was able to remove from my life and not notice they were missing.
Despite leaving Europe with relatively few material possessions, what I did leave with was a mountain of new experiences and memories. It may sound cheesy, but it’s these intangible items that never leave us no matter where our life takes us.
Lesson 4: The Rest of the World Is Watching US
By us, I mean the United States. There’s no denying it, we have a very strong influence on the rest of the world. Consider the fact that the overwhelming majority of people I met were able to speak English with me. Or the fact that everywhere I looked I saw products that were designed in the states. Specifically, I saw an abundance of hardware and software products that were created literally in my backyard out here in the Valley. The prevalence of US-made products and culture throughout Europe meant that everyone had an opinion of my home country.
As a US citizen it was an interesting time to be traveling around Europe. We had just concluded one of the most dramatic election cycles in our country’s history, and given most European citizens’ political leanings, I heard a lot of criticism directed towards the United States in general. While a part of me was tempted to call out some of the hypocrisy I encountered, I opted to to take a different approach. I chose to ask questions over starting arguments. I was curious what other people from around the world had to say about my country, and to shut them down would have only reinforced negative stereotypes. What this allowed me to do was to expand my view point even if it didn’t necessarily lead to me always changing my stance.
But more than anything I learned that what we do in the United States rarely stops at our own borders. The decisions we make and the things we build will have a heavy influence on the rest of the world, whether we intend them to or not. It is important we never lose sight of this as a country.
Lesson 5: Greatness is built over long periods of time
This was one of the more meta lessons I learned during my trip to Europe. I saw so many great cities, monuments, museums, and historical figures in Europe that I almost became numb to greatness by the end of the trip. One aspect that all of these great things shared in common was that they were all built over long periods of time. After spending a week in Rome the phrase “Rome wasn’t built in a day” really began to resonate with me. The city has experienced centuries of history filled with both ups and downs, to bring it to the place we see now.
But perhaps the best example of building greatness wasn’t a place; but rather, a person. One of the more moving experiences I had during my trip was the time I spent in the Vincent van Gogh museum. Van Gogh was the definition of working long and hard to build greatness. The museum was spread across 4 floors, with each floor corresponding to an ordered phase in Van Gogh’s life. On the first floor his work was frankly average, and he even noted this in his own journals. But as you went up and around the floors, you could notice a significant improvement in his work over time. Despite constant set-backs and issues in his personal life, he continued to persevere and improve his craft. In his final few months Van Gogh painted over 100 paintings, many of which were his most impressive works. While he only sold 1 painting while he was alive, his best work was produced at the end of a lifetime of practice.
In a society that lacks patience and demands instant gratification, just remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day & Van Gogh’s best work took a lifetime of perseverance to produce.
Lesson 6: Don’t be afraid of the Uncomfortable Path
If there was one word I could use to describe my 36 days in Europe on my own, it would be “uncomfortable.” To most of you this probably comes as a surprise. I mean, sure, I had a lot of fun on my trip, and it was definitely an exciting journey. But it was in the moments I was most uncomfortable that I remember the most.
It would have been more comfortable for me to have accepted the first job offer I received (starting in January) & waited until I could take vacation. It would have been more comfortable for me to wait until a time when more of my friends were willing to go to Europe with me, or when I had more money in my bank account. It would have been more comfortable to have spent those 36 days in my bed at home versus on squeaky hostel beds halfway across the world. But here’s the thing: if you keep choosing the comfortable path you will never learn, you will never grow and you will never live the life you are capable of experiencing. So the next time you are given the option between two paths, I encourage you to take the more uncomfortable of the two. Oh and one last thing:
If you ever get a chance to travel anywhere on your own…take it.
