Alexandra Offor
Aug 24, 2017 · 2 min read

I don’t think I gave much thought when I accepted my first job offer back in March. I was just happy to finally have a job that related to my (rather expensive) degree and to finally be done with waiting tables.

Six months later, I’m left feeling even more confused than before. I didn’t think that I would be once again questioning what exactly it is that I want do with my life.

On my drive home today, I wondered what exactly is it do I want out of a job? All of the answers that popped into my head seemed to be too vague.

“To help and motivate people.”

“To use social media.”

“To connect.”

“Stability.”

If I really think about it, those characteristics could apply to any job.

And then on the other hand, I wondered if I was being too dramatic.

“Be grateful that you have a job.”

“You’re getting paid, aren’t you?”

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs.

I DON’T KNOW!

But that’s nothing new, I feel like I never know anymore. I never know what to do. I. Just. Never. Know.

This issue isn’t a new one and you would think that by now, I would have a sense of what it is that I like to do. But my issue is, is that I like too much.

“I like to write.”

“ I like to analyze.”

“I like to connect.”

“I like to work with digital platforms.”

“I like pop-culture.”

“I like music.”

“I like to inspire.”

And I’ve been so unsuccessful in tying in all of those things together. I have barely started to scratch the surface of my purpose. And somehow I’m supposed to have it all figured out?

The other day my mom came into my room and told me that I am a “grown kid”. I should have some stability by now. I should have left the nest by now. And if I were basing her statements on social media, she’s probably right.

I follow so many people my age that seem to be a “grown kid”. They have it all together, more importantly they seem to have found a job in which their purpose here on Earth can flourish.

But the part of me that is very literate when it comes to social media, knows that at times this isn’t all 100% true. So I quickly canceled my mother’s statements.

Finding a job is hard enough but finding a job that makes me feel like I’m living in my purpose and being true to my self is even harder.

Truth of the matter is this: I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Granted it’s only been about three hours…but that doesn’t negate the fact that I’m back at square one.

One step forward. A million steps back.

Guess it’s back to the drawing board for now…

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Alexandra Offor

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