Stop Apologizing: A Leadership How-to

I formally stepped into the role of CEO at Advance Tech Media a few months ago. While this not my first leadership role — being CEO comes with a few challenges no one tells you about as you begin your career journey.
I’m lucky in that I’ve had leadership opportunities early in life which encouraged a growth mindset that has served me well as I’ve progressed in my career. When there wasn’t an obvious opportunity in the job market — I made one. When the economy tanked, the year after graduating college — I shifted into consulting. I’m used to looking for the path which isn’t obvious as the most successful one but is the right long-term play and I’m not afraid of hard work. At the beginning of your career, however, having a growth mindset is tough.
Leadership qualities are often a terrible fit for a junior manager, simply because you’re not in charge. If you push too hard, too fast and achieve in a way that eclipses your peers you may not last too long with your existing cohort. This defies the standard advice we often hear; you’re encouraged to strive to be the best, perform at the top and execute flawlessly. What is rarely divulged is that if you take this approach you will ruffle feathers, encounter jealousy and incur wrath from moderately effective colleagues and mid-level managers who are happy to put in a 7.5 hour day and go home.
While there is nothing wrong with doing good work, doing great work requires an entirely different skill set which is not for the faint of heart. I’m discovering there are (at least) two versions of the growth mindset you will need to employ during your career as what allows you to grow and take on additional responsibility in a junior role will leave you hamstrung and ineffective as you graduate through the ranks.
The Growth Mindset for Rising Stars
I hated this phase of my career the most. As alluded to already, having a growth mindset while working effectively within a team means pumping the brakes. Pay attention to the subtle glares from your teammates and managers as the big boss recognizes your achievements. Not noticing any? Prepare to be blindsided.
The above rings true whether you are in a large organization, traditional mid-side company or start-up. You’ll notice the pains of achievement quickly in companies employing a traditional, hierarchical management style. The emphasis on rank and file, generally comes with a defined set of rules, performance metrics you’ll be measured against and a small set of defined responsibilities.
Where things often get tricky is when organizations employ a non-traditional management approach or in a startup. I would argue that startup culture is the worst to navigate because the rules are often undefined and there is a large bias toward the founders and first employees. If you’re not part of the in-group and you achieve over and above your peers chances are your reward is best wishes from the team as you move on to your next opportunity.
The key to having a growth mindset and navigating the early to mid stages of your career is in sharing the credit and making your team and your direct supervisor look better. All achievements arise from the team and for the team. As an individual you must lose so that the grand ‘we’ wins. Does this seem slightly ingenuous to you? Yeah, it did to me as well, but remember: a rising tide lifts all boats.
In this phase, eat your humble pie, celebrate any wins as a team effort and embrace the team culture. Start defining what strengths you possess as an individual and building upon these in a complimentary but non-competitive environment. Sometimes this means volunteering your time on a sports or social team or a company event. Often you will need to look for opportunities outside your workplace.
The Growth Mindset for Leaders
Is it your goal to lead an organization as a senior executive? To disrupt the status quo and create something new? To build an empire from little but your ability to put in the time and work necessary, while maintaining your vision and drive, persisting once everyone else has quit or gone home? Great. These are all characteristics you will need. But — how do you know you have what it takes to be a leader? First you need to answer a few questions.
Are you willing to be uncomfortable nearly all the time? Can you be open to harsh criticism (both warranted and unwarranted) and know the difference between the two? Are you able to subsist on the (very) few victories you or your new company will first achieve? Are you willing to get back up every time you fail and maintain the same level of drive? Can you believe almost obsessively in your approach and vision and be your own cheerleader until others believe in you? Cool, you may have what it takes. Onto performance.
Much like a top performer who’s put in the 10,000 hours required to be at the top of their game (see Outliers by author Malcolm Gladwell) a lot of success is found in how you consistently do what it takes. Can you roll out of bed starving, low on sleep, jetlagged and pitch to a top VC or take an impromptu meeting with a prospective client? Can you do all of that, hear no, then take your next meeting without missing a beat? Excellent. Can you do that for six months straight? Great — keep reading.
Making the hard stuff seem easy is key at this level. How are you going to inspire and lead others if you can’t execute on a number of fundamentally difficult things? Top performers have arrived where they are through a combination of perseverance and leveraging skills they have strengthened over time as the right opportunities come along.
Understanding what it is you do well, finding opportunities to grow these skills and putting in the work even when it’s difficult is what elevates you. Recognizing opportunities, leveraging your experience and making the hard things seem easy is what creates your circle of influence as a leader. A top performer operates in a way that seems like magic: understanding all nuances of the field, performing consistently under pressure with expert timing.
The heart of true leadership and what very few colleagues and mentors will tell you is that the key to leading is simple. Assume point, lead, do. That’s it. The difficult part is what you don’t do. Stop apologizing. Absolutely under no circumstances do you ever justify your actions, explain your position so that others will accept you or ask for permission. Are you likely to make enemies and enrage rivals, yep — you bet. You owe exactly no one an explanation.
Now there are some caveats — don’t act against anyone in a way which may cause them harm (direct or indirect). You’re not allowed to use violent means (you’re a leader not a dictator). Finally, don’t coerce anyone to do something against their will unless you’re a fan of truly bad karma. As a leader *you* are responsible for the direction of your venture so think, assess, pick a direction and go.
