Hotwife Fantasy Explained
March 16, 2017
Many of you know that Dr. Lexi* is publishing these blog Posts in three places. I am publishing in the Hotwife area of Tumblr which is where I began my journey trying to provide real, truthful, information about what the Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle is and isn’t.
Sometime later, my husband Michael, convinced me that I needed to have my own website because he was certain that “almost any day now” Yahoo, which is the owner of Tumblr was going to pull the plug on the porn sewer that this particular area of Tumblr has become, and he didn’t want my entire body of blog Posts and advice, to suddenly disappear into the Abyss if they simply shut it down one day as had been threatened back then.
That made sense to me because at the time I was getting quite a bit of hate mail from the photo caption writers who glorify the Hotwife Lifestyle in a mostly unrealistic way for the vast majority, by using porn and fantasy.
To be honest with you, nobody likes getting negative email. I was getting it regularly, telling me to mind my own business and “fuck off”, or wishing me to “eat shit and die bitch!”
I am also publishing on Medium.com which is a more upscale Blog site without all the porn and fantasy because not everyone who is hoping to find information about our Lifestyle wants to try and do research on a porn site getting misinformation.
Why does any of this matter? It matters because the photo caption writers are not portraying the Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle in a realistic light for most real life married couples looking for nuggets of gold in all that river sand.
Not only that, men who finally figure out that this desire to share their wife with other men for sex, is a hell of a lot more normal than they thought! The thing is, they never told anyone for fear of The Morals Police, not to mention their wife. So they have kept this deep desire locked up inside their brain.
That desire is really very normal. Even for men who deny it. How do I know this? I know this because of the thousand plus emails I have received from married guys who write to me and tell me they thought that having that desire to share their wife with other men was fucked up and are glad to know they are normal!
Think of the fantasy of wife sharing like you think about Masturbation. Everybody does it, but most people don’t talk about it. So because they don’t talk about it they don’t know how normal that desire really is.
I get at least ten emails a week from men who don’t understand there is NO relationship between Hotwife and Cuckold, because of the way they are portrayed as linked together on sites like Tumblr. They are scared to death to tell their wife they have a desire to share her body with other men, for fear they will be labeled as a Cuckold! Or worse!
So Dr. Lexi* is going to clear up some misinformation for you by explaining the Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle link between Hotwife and Cuckold. I can do it in four words.
There is no link!
A Hotwife is a married woman, whose marriage is open on her end and closed on her husband’s end in order to fulfill her husband’s desire to share her with other men. She dates outside her marriage specifically to share her body with other men, with the knowledge, consent, and encouragement of her husband in order to fulfill a VERY normal desire that most men have.
A Cuckold is largely defined as a married man whose wife is fucking other men without his knowledge and especially without his consent. In case you never heard this before, the basis of the word Cuckold comes from the Cuckoo bird which lays its eggs in the nests of other birds for the other mother bird to hatch.
Somebody is going to write to me and tell me I didn’t get that exactly right. Maybe not, but its close. That’s OK because I have a lot of readers and I don’t mind when someone says “You got that mostly right Lexi, however . . .” I DO mind though when it starts out “You dumb bitch!” Hmmm . . . . Where was I?
Occasionally a man who is a Cuckold has knowledge that his wife has other lovers, but she does not have his consent, and he is too weak emotionally to stop her or she controls the finances, or some other reason.
By definition it is not possible for a Hotwife to be married to a Cuckold. There is absolutely NO link whatsoever in reality between Hotwife and Cuckold, in most of society.
All the rest of it, is fantasy role playing. If I got into all of that, this blog Post would be way to long, but some of it edges into reality a little bit because when two consenting adults are involved sexually with each other, the sky is the limit.
This is the realm where Porn and Fantasy, and Photo Caption Writers reside. Most of what you see portrayed there is not the day to day reality of a married or committed couple who I normally refer to as a Soccer Mom hotwife. Why do I use that term?
I use that term to portray Reality as an everyday wife and mother, who probably has 2.5 kids, a husband, a mortgage, a dog, possibly a career of her own, and she splits family responsibility of getting the kids to their activities like band practice, the dentist, and yes, soccer practice, with other family members and oh by the way, she also occasionally dates other men to fulfill her husband’s desire to share her.
I am not trying to convince anyone that the things you see in the photo captions don’t ever occur in real life or with some Hotwife couples. My message is not for them. They don’t write to me for advice. I can guarantee you that they didn’t start there doing those things you see being portrayed.
I tell anyone who asks me that I have no problem at all with anything that two or more consenting adult want to do, and so long as it does not affect my quality of life it is OK with me.
So a fair question to ask me would be something like “Well Dr. Lexi* if you don’t like what goes on in the Tumblr Blogosphere, why don’t you stop blogging there?”
OK. So, yes I am aware I am trying to swim upstream in the porn sewer of Tumblr. That’s because that is where many people find me while they are trying to figure out the reality of this Lifestyle be trying to separate the wheat from the chaff.
When a man writes to me and says he has that desire to share his wife but is afraid to pursue it because he doesn’t want to be considered a Sissy or a Cuckold, or anything else negative that is portrayed by the Photo Caption Writers give me all the reason I need to be swimming in that sewer.
Alexis McCall AKA Dr. Lexi*
*Dr. Lexi is not a real doctor.
Personal note to my readers: Yes, I am aware that it has been a month and a half since I Posted anything. I am pretty sure I have never gone that long before. I am grateful to those of you that have written to me either telling me you missed me, were checking on me, asking if I fell in, got burned out, was sick, too busy, travelling, or simply sent me an email with “WTF?”
All is well in my world! Occasionally I get burned out travelling so much for my day job, and that’s what I have been doing the most of lately. The time I have had available for writing has been answering my Lifestyle email which for me is a Labor of Love as I continue paying it forward.
This particular blog Post does not address any of the ingredients that make a successful Hotwife Alternative Marriage, like I usually talk about. Michael and I had a long talk about my strategy going forward as it relates to blogging and sharing advice.
He made a very good point which resonated with me. I was concerned that my message was getting stale even though my readership is growing. He told me that everything I have ever written about the Hotwife Alternative Marriage Lifestyle is available on my website to anyone who looks for it.
For those people that care enough to want the truth about the Lifestyle, it’s all there. From Day One, all I have ever wanted to be is a reliable resource because when we began our journey we couldn’t find anyone doing what I do now.
Michael told me that anyone who does a Google search for “Hotwife Lifestyle” is going to find me and if I wanted to change my message, I should.
Well, it’s not the message I want to change. It is the way it is received, or perceived. I’m not sure which of those terms is what I really mean. When I was a paralegal, working with a bunch of lawyers going to several meetings a day, everyone was all about having an “Action Plan.”
My action plan as a professional traveling companion never changes so I hadn’t given action plans a lot of thought until dinner with Michael over our second bottle of wine.
It turns out that when talking about the Hotwife Lifestyle I have always used the term “fantasy” for men that that have the thought that they would like to share her sexually with other men.
I have always used the term as if men had the Fantasy of wife sharing. I usually say they want to “turn their fantasy into reality.” My action plan is to stop saying that. Going forward it is no longer a “fantasy” because a fantasy too often is something that is not realistic.
Men do not have a “fantasy” of sharing their wife with other men, they have a “desire” to share her. Is this action plan a good idea? I don’t know yet, but to me, a desire seems more doable than a fantasy! So we’ll see.