Hotwife Sex Drive
August 15, 2016
Most of you know that I am Hotwife Alternative Marriage Advocate and Lifestyle Coach. When my husband and I were new to the Lifestyle there wasn’t anyone we could find to ask questions about the Lifestyle and trust that we were getting the truth instead of some caption writers fanciful wish.
So I decided to become that source once I knew every way possible to do it wrong by taking advice from the Hotwife Forums. I am going to digress for just a minute but I promise you it’s relevant.
If I could write my own job description, I would like to be the Rachael Ray of the Hotwife Lifestyle set. I have a passion for learning and practicing gourmet cooking, and a passion for men and sex.
When I am looking at a new recipe or a new kitchen gadget, I do research just like Michael and I did on the “How to” of becoming a Hotwife on a day to day realistic basis.
So let’s say I am looking at a new immersion blender. Did you know that you can spend as little as 12 bucks and as much as 400 bucks for one of those things? So how do you know which one to buy?
You read all the reviews, that’s how. Except for one thing. It doesn’t matter whether you ask a question about an immersion blender or which ankle should a Hotwife wear her anklet?
People are going to answer the questions who have no fucking clue what they are talking about, but they have an opinion. It is my experience that people with an opinion about anything are going to share it regardless of how irrelevant it may be.
If Dr. Lexi was a real doctor I might understand this better but sadly, I’m only a blonde with experience doing what I Coach.
One of the ways I go about deciding what to publish is by gauging my email. If enough people are asking me the same questions I can be pretty sure there are lots of other people wondering the same thing.
So I keep getting this question about my sex drive. Early on I learned that if I am going to claim to tell the truth about this Lifestyle and how it works for a soccer mom on a day to day basis in her real life, I can’t pick and choose which questions I am going to answer. If I only answered the easy ones I would have zero credibility so I answer them all.
But, and this is a big but, I don’t answer all of them publically because talking to one person via email who wants to know how becoming a Hotwife has affected my sex drive is a hell of a lot easier than answering that question globally.
But when enough people ask me the same question I know it’s time for me to address it publically, except for me, this particular question has a complicating factor that I need to explain first. So here we go:
Within a few months of starting my blog, I became an Escort and traveling companion for men who were going to be traveling to the Tampa area who were looking for female companionship.
I was recruited by a Service out of the northeast based on my exposure as a blogger on Tumblr, and my geographic location. In other words, I fit a demographic need.
I have always maintained and still maintain that the reason I agreed to do that is because Michael wanted me to do it. Sometimes I think that he might have divorced me if I hadn’t. That’s how bad he was after me to do it.
Occasionally he will tell me that the only downside to having a prostitute for a wife is that he doesn’t have anyone to brag to.
So the question is, how did becoming a Hotwife affect my sex drive? Part of my answer is to tell you that whenever a man writes to me for help in turning his traditional wife into a Hotwife, because of his fantasy of wanting to share her with other men, I always warn him to be careful what he wishes for because becoming a Hotwife is a one way trip.
Once your Genie is out of the bottle she is not going back inside. So how do you suppose I know that? Because I am one of them, that’s why!
I knew it the very first time I had sex with a man outside my marriage when my husband sent me on a pantiless challenge to take an upskirt photo and send it to him from a bar in the middle of the day while he was at work. I got caught doing it because my camera flashed. Did I mention that I’m a blonde?
My husband did that to me hoping for the result he got. I wasn’t planning on that result but I was having fun building Intimacy with my husband accepting his challenges, expanding my comfort zone a little at a time and I knew it was the result he was hoping for.
It was one of those things that you could not possibly plan for where all the stars aligned. Michael was thrilled for both of us and I was hooked. For me there would be no going back!
Was it because the sex was stratospheric? I thought so as the time because he was the first man I had sex with in 20+ years other than Michael. I spent the following day with him having honeymoon sex, four times I think, and it was somewhat less stratospheric, but I had never experienced orgasm that many times in one day in my life!
Michael and I talked about this man for days and we dissected it to death. Here is what we came up with. Lexi Luvs Sex. That concept lasted about a week, but it did provide me with a very descriptive Tumblr User name.
It turns out that it is not that simple. Although I love sex, I also love new experiences with men. I love romance and passion. I love knowing when a man is sexually attracted to me and comes after me. I love it when men talk sugar smack to me in a bar because they want to separate me from my panties, although some men are disappointed momentarily when they discover I’m not wearing any.
Fortunately that disappoint usually speeds up their erection and they forget all about that particular disappointment.
So that brings us to the heart of the issue about my sex drive. There can be no doubt in anyone’s mind that that becoming a Hotwife has increased my sex drive at least ten fold.
What is not so clear is why. Is it because I see sexual orgasm in a new light and I am chasing the perfect orgasm? Or is it because I like being chased by men that want to have sex with me?
Have I had the most incredible orgasm of my life that has taken me to both a physical and emotional strata that I will never experience again?
I hope not. The reality is some of both things that make up the whole reason for the increase in my sex drive.
I’m not saying that men never chased around after me before I became a Hotwife, but I am saying that once I began flirting back at men with intent, things changed in my brain because after becoming a Hotwife I could allow that flirtation to escalate to its ultimate conclusion in a motel room bed or wherever.
Back in the old days when my husband was ignoring my existence and I was amusing myself with men online and seriously considering an affair, I read just about everything I could find on the subject.
I read many times that married women who end up having an affair are not looking for sex. In other words sex is not the driving force behind her seduction. Those women did have a physical need, but more importantly they had an emotional need that was not being met at home.
They were giving sex as part of the arrangement in order to get their emotional needs met. Here is the important part. They may have loved the sex but it was almost always offset by guilt which almost always diminished their sex drive.
A hotwife has none of those entanglements. I can engage in almost spontaneous casual sex with a stranger if I feel an overwhelming sexual chemistry with him, and trust me, it does happen!
Hotwife sex is more about the recreational aspect of sex. A Hotwife has two sex lives. She has her marital sex life and her personal sex life. This is sort of a crude way of looking at it but in some ways the personal sex life of a Hotwife is like masturbation except with a guy. Like masturbation, sometimes Hotwife sex is to scratch an itch.
There is no guilt because I am doing what my husband wants me to do. I am not giving my body in order to get my emotional needs fulfilled. That is not to say that sex like that is not an emotional event.
That’s why I never recommend that a woman new to the Hotwife Lifestyle starts out with just one FWB, (boyfriend) until she gets some practical experience to be able to put these new emotions into their proper perspective without getting distracted.
So while I was trying to decide how to explain how becoming a Hotwife has ramped up my sex drive it I also thought that I should probably do some serious thinking about the other factors involved.
Although lack of guilt is a big one, there are some other factors to consider. It occurred to me that maybe it isn’t that my sex drive has gone into hyperdrive, so much as it is the way I think about it now.
My attitude about sex is night and day different than it was before as a traditional wife. If I wake up in the morning and I get that little spark of urge, I start planning my day around that little spark. If it can wait until the evening, I go out hunting. I am a Cougar, so I know some places in Tampa to go to get my immediate need met.
It is definitely true that I spend more time than ever thinking about sex. For example, if I wake up with that little spark of desire I can, and sometimes do, spend all day planning what I want. It’s like trying to decide what restaurant you want to go based on what you are in the mood for.
If I want a mature, cultured guy my own age, I go to an upscale downtown hotel lounge. If I want a young alpha male gym rat with muscles, I go to the gym or the bar where they go. If I want a bad boy, I go out clubbing.
Lastly, there is the factor of my marriage and how is has become supercharged as a result of this marriage enriching Lifestyle change we made. Sharing a truly Intimate relationship with my husband Michael now, has made a total difference in how I view myself as a sexual entity.
I have a personal sex life now because he wants me to have it. I use those sexual experiences to share with Michael to fulfill his fantasy of wanting to share me with other men. Fulfilling his fantasy and sharing all of those experiences is enriching our marriage and making us even closer with even greater Intimacy.
If Michael had his way I would probably be going out hunting seven days a week. Although Michael loves my career as a prostitute, it does not have the same value to him as me being his Hotwife.
So there you have it. This has been my most complete explanation so far as to how and why my sex drive has grown exponentially since becoming a Hotwife!