The Man, The Myth,…The Job: Deconstructing Prince Charming
In her book, Self Made, Nely Galan presents an interesting concept that I’ve always been aware of but didn’t quite know how to put it into words quite like she does. At some point, definitely influenced, by other like-minded people, I took on this mindset that no matter what, I am a victor. So what does that mean? It means that things are going to happen in life that I cannot control. When they do, I can choose to be a victim should they be unfortunate things, or I can choose to be a victor and creatively navigate my way through tough situations. It’s a mindset (I don’t think I did too bad trying to put it into words!)
However, Galan does something interesting. She explains this same idea of being a victor, by using the common concept of “prince charming,” that everyone is familiar with. What or who is prince charming, you may ask.
Prince Charming is a stock character who appears in some fairy tales. He is the prince who comes to the rescue of the damsel in distress, and stereotypically, must engage in a quest to liberate her from an evil spell.
Some key phrases to pull out here would be “stock character” and “rescue of damsel in distress.” In my field of work, which is graphic design, something stock generally means, something unoriginal or fake. A stock character would generally be a stereotype, and most people know that stereotypes are typically not true. In other words, this guy, prince charming, doesn’t exist. He is a figment of the imagination that we want to exist. Let’s move on the the phrase “rescue of damsel in distress.” I realize that many people, women in particular, find themselves in need of improvement in some form or fashion, but yet lie in waiting. What are they waiting for? They are waiting for someone or something to come along and make everything better. They are waiting for Prince Charming; and, Prince Charming can take many forms. It could be a mate to make you happy with the perfect relationship. It could be the perfect job, or promotion that you think will fix everything in your life. Galán even states that prince charming can come in the form of your boss or even a child or a parent. All of those are relationships in which we give a certain amount of effort, at times more effort than called for, all the while having expectations that we will be rewarded at some point for our “good behavior.” We think bosses will give us a raise, or that children will grow to pamper us when they’re older, or that parents will always do what is expected. So when a boss doesn’t give us the promotion we wanted, or when a child grows into a young adult and doesn’t keep in touch like he should, or when parents are not everything that we wish them to be, we blame them and make ourselves the victim.
We blame them because we are under the assumption that Prince Charming really exists, but he doesn’t. At least not in the form of anyone/anything outside of yourself. The only person who can make your life better is you. Believing in prince charming is not only futile, but I think it could even be dangerous. Mainly as it concerns employment. Sitting and waiting on the “right” job or promotion can diminish your financial future and overall well-being. Even if you have a great job with the perfect company, they could decide to lay you off, close down, etc. It’s dangerous to allow our well-being and livelihood to be controlled by others. I once read in a book by George Trower Subira (which I HIGHLY recommend) that
a “good job” is one of the biggest obstacles to becoming rich.
Good jobs can make us complacent. I’ll use this analogy I made up that deals with food that relates a “good job” to a big slice of pie. Just because you have a bigger slice of pie than the next person, it entitles you to feel special and, in turn, indifferent about obtaining what could possibly be an exponentially greater amount of pie. You’re also dependent on the person/people cutting the pie and handing out slices. What if they decide that your slice shouldn’t be as big as it is, or what if they stopped cutting you a portion altogether? How would you eat, speaking both literally and figuratively? Being dependent on your job makes you less dependent on yourself.
We have to become self-reliant to become rich, rich in finances, rich in happiness, rich in all ways. When we are self-reliant, it is easier for us to become whole. And when you become whole, you will find that the things that you thought were previously missing will come to you naturally. Great opportunities and potential mates will flock to you as the universe reflects back to you your own reflection. Moreover, you will be better suited to handle these opportunities that life will bring you in a healthier way, as you will not be dependent on them for your own success and well being.
Originally published at www.alexandriaeddings.com on August 6, 2016.