What It’s Really Like Being a Single Dog Mum

“Can you handle a dog like that all by yourself?” Yes. Fuck off.

If I had a pound for every time someone (normally a man) said those words to me in the park, I’d be on the beach somewhere with a Mojito. Being a single dog Mum to a 45kg Mastiff mix was a life choice I made when, in the space of two months, I bought a house and ended a long-term relationship. I will never, ever look back. Here’s why:

Day one with Zuko. She was 12kg underweight after leaving the shelter and nervous of everything.

- Having a dog disciplines you. And fast. She needs to pee? You’ve got to get up, otherwise the carpet is going to suffer (and stink). You can’t be bothered to go and do a big grocery shop? Too bad. She needs feeding tonight, and you’re down to the last can of dog food. Off to the store you go. Lie in? Ha, don’t make me laugh.

Zuko’s first off-leash adventure. A proud moment.

- Your social schedule changes. You want to go on a night out? Nope. Not without doggy day-care you’re not. Dogs shouldn’t be left any longer than four hours, so remember that when you’re deciding between a Dachshund and a Daquiri. Gone are the days of all-nighters and impromptu bowling nights, cinema trips and bar-crawls. Instead, I’ve discovered a new-found love of dog-friendly pubs, country parks and cosy nights in with friends…