In June, Susie Sessoms got her first lip filler. In November, she tried Kybella, the “fat dissolving” double chin injectable. “I swelled up like a bullfrog,” she says. “It’s a good thing I didn’t have to go to work!” Like many office workers, Sessoms, a mortgage executive in the Twin Cities, has worked from home from March of last year. Her company doesn’t do Zoom, which made it even easier to get treatments discreetly. “I wasn’t concerned about catching Covid,” she says. Her medspa’s sanitization protocols make her feel safer than at the grocery store.
Can you believe we’re four months away from 2022? Can’t blame it all on #2020 anymore, right? FML. Equally annoying, but obv. not comparable, is learning that Jeff Bezos just had a soft-serve ice cream machine installed at his pad (spaceships, islands, superyachts, this dude has it all).
The real question here is why the billionaire’s understandable predilection for sweet sugary goodness is considered newsworthy… umm, are headlines like: “Bezos ate an Apple, Apple shares tank,” going to become the new norm? Nah, only when Elon does it, AMIRITE? Mmmmkay. So what else is happening in techlandia worth knowing?
The unspoken but acknowledged rule of technology reporting is that the more mind-blowing the innovation, the less likely it is to ever get to market. Doesn’t it feel like you’ve been hearing about drone taxi services for yearssss? Case closed.
Despite this uncomfortable truth, the flashiness of said tech products-toilets that analyze your poop! Robot hairdressers! -make great headlines (guilty as charged) but have about as much likelihood of getting into your hands in the next decade as I am to win American Idol.
So July 2021 will go down in history as the beginning of the billionaire space race, whereupon two white male boomers spent a few harrowing but exhilarating minutes in space, returning to enjoy the literal worship at their feet of their feats.
Jeff Bezos managed to one-up Richard Branson (of course), by clocking in two extra world records (like anyone’s counting) by flying the youngest AND the oldest white person into space — may I refer you to his rocket design for overcompensating jokes… Yup, Slate went so far as to ask Daniel Ramspacher, an actual rocket scientist why the…
There’s a lot of brain-boggling tech-talk emerging from the Beehive State this month: first, the unhappy reveal that 31 percent of algorithmically produced content on Provo-based online text adventure game Al Dungeon, is deeply and explicitly disturbing (like no one saw that coming). Then we have the smartypants at Brigham Young University riling up Apple by informing the world that the iPhone’s much-lauded “ Night Shift” mode is good at darkening screens, but “will not help you fall or stay asleep.” BURN.
But it’s time for our stroll down Utah’s crazy town of tech, beginning with Two Truths And A…
Are you feeling ready for that Hot Vax summer… or a better-branded version of the same? Me too! So many ways to celebrate…Cocktails via the Botrista Drinkbot! Robot manicures in San Francisco! Team off-sites in Panama! Chest palpitations from Elon Musk’s Dogecoin tweets… Crypto’s up! It’s down! It’s a Shiba Inu called Floki?! Also, how cute was Elon as a newborn?
FYI, try and avoid Mark Zuckerberg’s spears should you venture into the wild (not joking).
In light of all the living it up, we’re going to do this summer, the June release of Two Truths and a Lie, the…
Silicon Valley tends to take top billing when it comes to the weird and wonderful world of tech, but Utah is busily closing that gap, one ghost-radar app at a time.Over the last year, Utah’s startup scene has undergone a seismic shift, but really WGAF about SaaS news when you have Miakomo, the Darth-Vader-esque mask-startup shutting up shop, and genealogy startup MyHeritage releasing a “GIF your grandfather” tool?
So this May has been one long sweet ride of a month in terms of tech titan tea.
The philanthropic billionaire power couple that was Bill and Melinda Gates have celled it quit (now enter rumors about Bill’s 20-year annual vacay with his ex-GF), which occurred with Melinda’s consent (though not necessarily approval). Well, that’s… not great. Then there’s the spate of Elon Musk scammers, who, under the guise of being the #realelon, have scammed around $80 million from 7,000 people since October 2020.
So, yea: 👎👎👎
Then we have Florida, of F-ING COURSE, where its idiot-conservative-in-charge, Governor Ron DeSantis…
As San Francisco residents slowly become part of the #vaxpack there’s a spring to everyone’s step that has nothing to do with hoverboards or the announcement that Elon Musk’s supposedly going to host Saturday Night Live in May —and I can’t wait to unpack that sh*t show.
But in other news, Travis Kalanick’s CloudKitchens startup imploded(color me unsurprised), and in Facebooklandia, Mark Zuckerberg’s Dad gently called him out his son for forgetting lunch — “Do you need Mom and I to deliver meals,” which (off course) went viral, because he is the great and mighty ZUCK after all.
One morning in 2015, as 59-year-old Sally Misha Hamana waited for a department store clerk to serve her, a man — “a gentleman,” she says — lined up next to her. “I like your hair,” he told her. His throwaway comment left her speechless. She’d stopped coloring her grays a few months back, and her cropped pixie cut was 100% silver. “What does it matter what I look like?” she’d thought. “Nobody sees me anyways.”
The struggle began in her forties, when she was marketing a Texas rodeo. People began talking over her. Dismissing her ideas. Long-term colleagues sidelined her…