Are you racist? Do you know anyone racist?
I am not. At all.
I don’t experience it hardly at all in life but on line , I do a lot.
And it’s so anathema to my reality, that it makes me wonder..
I have two small children and they are white , blonde hair and blue eyes. It’s a recessive gene on my mothers side and their dads direct genes.
We live in a very multicultural neighborhood , I would even venture to say white is the minority here. We go to the park every day , with all the other kids and parents about 5 pm when the heat breaks .. And I watch my kids fondly play with every single color and race and religion every day.
None of these kids have any idea that there is a color barrier between them. A cultural barrier . A religious barrier.
Not that there is.
Much like myself when I was a child. Grew up traveling a lot, always around all different races , nationalities and countries, whole cultures .. I visited Africa for example , before the age of 10.
Idk… I’m an INFP, so I don’t see uglies. I don’t think uglies. I really don’t. Only 4% of the population is like me, maybe that’s it. Maybe other kids see ugliness .. Other people think the worst. I think the best usually , I see beauty in everything. It takes work to be a cynic for me.
But I grew up, much like their father did, without being racist. He has a sister that’s black. My grandparents escaped the south with an interracial marriage. My dad grew up in Watts. So I never learned racism .. Ever.
But yet, pretty much daily I’m seeing posts about the oppressive white culture and how I’m racist and don’t even know it and how even thinking the things or saying the things that I do are racist.
I look at my kids and I wonder if one day they will grow up and be called racists too, just because they are white.
Frankly it can upset me.
You know I take that back… one day my kids did get confronted with racism. But it was by a family of black children and a father from Haiti. These kids won’t play with anyone that’s not black. They are rude and cruel at times to white children ( my kids) and stare like a monster is in the room when their little half black half white friends are playing with them.
At first I didn’t want to accuse them of racism , but it was so blatantly obvious .. My babies father came over and told me what the same kids did to my child when he was with them, and then other parents started noticing it too. Till it all culminated in a parent screaming at the top of her lungs to these kids she would sic her dog on them ( I come from a tough town. That’s true… )
But that’s the only racism I’ve seen here. From those 6 black kids.
Do you know what I thought when i first met them? The exact thing I told my partner was,
“Someone told those children that white people hate them.”
I 100% believe that.
But I also hate it that a child has to learn from anyone , anywhere , that anyone would hate them for their skin color.
Even if that was true , say I was black and I knew racist people existed. I would never justify racism with such a rational excuse or definition, I should say.
My kids would never hear that something was wrong with them. Ever. Because nothing the Fuck is. My kids would hear the truth. And that truth would be ( if I ever needed to tell them) that some people are sick. Sick in the head. And some people have twisted thoughts and rotten hearts. Because that’s what racism is. Its not ignorance . Kindness and compassion don’t fall into the intelligence ratio .
Idk… I went off a little , but it is hard for me not to believe that any little girl for example growing up in America , didn’t feel the pressure to be blonde and blue eyed when they were little. I know I did. I felt like I would never be pretty because I wasn’t blonde and blue eyes. That there was no hope for me. In every game we played I had blonde hair and blue eyes. Every Barbie doll. I would stare at them and just want to be them. I was always to different . And never good enough because I wasn’t a dainty , small blonde with blue eyes.
Our national standard of beauty. It’s shoved down our throats in a million ways. Sure they are now starting to try to combat that, but it pretty much scarred our culture I would say.
So how does a little black girl feel in that? Or a Chinese girl? I can’t imagine it being easier for them. That’s one thing we have in common. The outsiders and boy did I feel it myself because I wasn’t anything that was pretty when I was little.
I hope that by the time my children are adults, no one is calling them racist or oppressive just because they are white. I really hope. That would break my heart. I hope we are somewhere different from here at that time.
Because I’m pretty sure there is a whole lot of white people exaxtly like me, raised without any kind of prejudice ,
After about 1970, everyone knew it was wrong. Excluding the south/ which should be its own planet, everyone knew racism was wrong. And America went to bat for that message. They have tried to combat racism since then. And send a message at least , that was anti racism.
I think that our parents , they grew up in a prejudice world and they watched themselves sin. They watched it in movies and tv shows and read it in books. They saw it was evil even if they didn’t shake it completely and I think the majority of our parents didn’t have the heart to teach us that bad shit.. Because racism is cruel. You gotta be a pretty bad mother fucker to look a kid in the eye and teach them racism.
So we grew up in a different world with a different point of view … for the most part. Not all I’m sure.
I think yes.. Definitely .. Some of the articles I’ve read , I can see the projection , the choice in choosing to believe something is racially motivated when it clearly didn’t have to be at all. I do think people project that, it’s instinctual to do it. Really with everything.
Cheat on your partner and watch how jealous you become.
Lie to your friends and watch how little you believe .
Steal and watch yourself lock everything up real tight.
Its human nature to project what we feel or what we are onto the world.
It’s part of why we are so fucked up.
I loved this article because no one wants to talk about these feelings .. That I have a sneaky suspicion they’ve had for a while. It was beautiful and honest. I loved it.
I appreciated it so much, because it was just honest and that’s what it’s gonna take for us to mend the chasm that is developing all across this country. We need to reveal ourselves to each other and hear each other and understand because understanding leads to compassion, and compassion to respect and respect to equality for all.
I went off.. Sorry.. Its been on my heart lately , I am inundated with the race issue. Its everywhere … I want to solve it as much as possible. Racism is solvable , prejudice is not. I don’t have enough faith in humans for that.
But prejudice is also something we all have to deal with. Sure I would love a utopia but it isn’t gonna happen. And prejudice is easily overlooked as long as we love ourselves enough to not be shaken by what someone might assume of us.
That’s why the self esteem, and worth thing , once you love and accept yourself, your entire world view changes. You’re so much more rational too… because you’re not walking around projecting onto the world and it boomaranging back on you that you’re not good enough or welcome here . Or that when people are laughing they aren’t laughing at you. Or when they have a funny look on their faces its not about you. Or on and on.. It affects all of us in hundreds I imagine , ways.
I think we all need to get this honest and raw to make any progress at all ..
The lies, the denial, the hiding , the avoiding, sweep it under the carpet or overcompensate and take all the Responsibilty for everything all the time thing , none of it is working. And it ain’t gonna work, because it’s all kinda a lie to some degree.