Days that I stop
I am a runner ,
I remember the back seat of the drivers side , staring at the leather. I remember the window was down and it was sunny. I remember trying to ask my mother to hear me and I remember exactly what she said..
No , I’m not going to listen to this. I am not your friend. I am your mother . I will never be your friend.
I sat back and I said to myself i will never do that to another human being. I will never not admit when I am wrong. I will never not validate their feelings. I will never not listen to my children.
I was in fourth grade.
Not a horror story for sure.
The important thing is what you run off to
so much confusion and contradiction, so many fucked up piles of rotten baggage and cuts and bruises and broken people who don’t know how
I have this dream and
Its this belief that , there is no need to
Be so fucked up
Sometimes i have these days ,
My soul needs to take a breath..
I am so exhausted
It doesn’t make any sense
Why do I need you
Is it because we are pack animals that we need each other … we need someone else to lick our injury? Like baboons in the trees picking and plucking each other’s problems and mistakes and sin
I hate phones and computers and skype. I need to be there right in front of you or else it’s empty for me.. not the same.
I am here in one place
I thought about this the other day,
What do I need more than anything else ?
wide open spaces
Freedom from judgement
Freedom from inquiry
Freedom from criticism
Freedom from expectations
to be who I am
I need to be who I am
The world it seems designed to break all those things and take them away
When did insane become in vogue
I like easy
Skin on skin
So many people are sleeping
You know it’s not in our heads. I mean how sane or insane we are. Humans aren’t drawn in the lines, we are not tame. The key is in how we treat other people, how we love them. That’s where it counts. That’s where the rubber hits the road. That’s where sane meets insane and pollutants meet harbor and everything matters.
Why don’t we care more ? Why doesn’t anyone care enough about each other to pay attention
The most important thing we do is learn how to love each other
Why aren’t they teaching that in school
And no, lying isn’t love